Quote for the day

Time with friends is not spent, but invested.

Day after Christmas...

It's the day after Christmas and I'm out of bed
With way too many lists of things to do stuck in my head

I've been out shopping, fought the crowd at the mall
It didn't take long for me to hit the "I've had enough" wall

Presents are opened, underneath the tree is bare
but I've a new camera and new stuff to wear

Time with the family has been great fun indeed
but now with scholastic tasks I must proceed

PIFs and papers that I need to write
Books to read late into the night
(okay not really, but it rhymed)

Trying not to go shopping, I've no more money to spend
And there just aren't enough hours to see all my friends

This Christmas has been merry, but a little bit sad
This may be the last time at home, this Christmas I've had

What the New Year will bring, I really don't know
But here's to looking forward and seeing where I will go.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends and family.
May you be happy with what you have received this Christmas.
Peace

I have been cleared for take-off!!!!

Just finished meeting with my committee. I have been certified as ready to receive a call pending the successful completion of my CPE (hospital chaplain internship) and I can circulate my PIF whenever I have it ready. WOO HOO!!!!!

Now I just have to get my PIF written and let the fun begin.

To all my friends, please pray for me that I might procede with wisdom and discernment. Exciting and scary all at the same time.

Exploring my call...

Having had several conversations with several different people lately, the subject of where I sense I am called to, what kind of church has surfaced several times. One of the conversations, I turned it around and asked the question of the person across the table from me. That was very helpful! Solo pastorate vs associate in a multi staff chruch. My friend remarked that I was the jack of all trades and master of none...yet. She is right!

I still am not sure where I am called to. Part of it will just depend on each church, but one thing I am becoming more and more convinced of, is that I am not called to be safe. I have a tendency to do things a little differently and my sense is that is to be the norm for me. To always be a little out on the edge and slightly non-traditional. Part of it is about creativity, part of it is about pushing myself to see what I am capable of. We shall see.

One more semester to go, then who knows what will happen!

Peace.

Hallelujah!!!

One more semester is finished! Now a few weeks off until I leave for Germany and Switzerland. A couple days in Austin to tie stuff up then back to Oklahoma. Merry Christmas to all!

24 hours left for the semester

A 5 page paper for pastoral counseling and a World Religions final is all that remains for the semester. In 24 hours I will be done until January. The final stretch. Almost done.

22 Christmas Questions

This responsory list is making the rounds in the blogosphere. Thanks to Chris for yet another distraction for reading week!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate…especially with a little peppermint schnapps. Mmmmmmmmmm.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps of course, otherwise there is nothing to tear into on Christmas morning!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored on the tree. House White and some tasteful splashes of color. Just no houses decked in blue, especially the driveway. It looks like an airport.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No. But I am certainly not opposed to it either.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Used to put them up after Thanksgiving, now I don’t decorate, cause I live in a dorm room. And the bulk of the holidays are spent at the folks house anyway.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Ham and Scalloped potatoes.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Doing a Christmas production for the family with my cousins at Grandma’s house. Especially when we made the only boy be “Pinky” the elf one year.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean the truth about Santa?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Sometimes, but not usually.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lights, Garland and sentimental family ornaments.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? Having grown up in Oklahoma…snow? What’s that? Oh that white powdery stuff. Would love to see some.

12. Can you ice skate? Nope. Never been able to.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My 2 front teeth? Actually legos, recently.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Theologically I’ll agree with Chris, the Incarnation. Otherwise, fun times with family and friends, particularly my nephews Josh and Jayson.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Fudge

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Waking up to loud, brassy Christmas carols on Christmas morning or Orchestra Sunday at First Presbyterian Church in Norman.

17. What tops your tree? An angel.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Yes!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Too many to pick.

20. Candy canes: yuck or yum? Yum for a few weeks, then yuck.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I love Dr. Suess.

22. What do you leave for Santa? Christmas cookies, milk and a carrot for Rudolph.

Monica, Paps, Tim, Paul….who’s next?

It can be Christmas time now...

I finally heard THE JINGLE today! It can now be Christmas. It is an Oklahoma (well central Oklahoma) tradition.

Jewelry is the gift to give, cause its the gift that will live and live
So give the gift you know can't fail from BC Clark's anniversary sale
Most sales are after Christmas, but Clark's is just before
Most everything is marked way down, savings you can't ignore,
At Oklahoma's oldest jeweler, since 1892
So give the gift you know can't fail from BC Clark's anniversary sale.

BC Clark Jingle

:)
Peace!

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Found this online....I love hand turkeys! And I like the poem. Great kid craft.


This isn't just a turkey as you can plainly see.
I made it with my hand which is a part of me.
It comes with lots of love especially to say,
I hope you have a very, Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Tribute to my Grandfather

My grandfather died 2 years ago. In reading about bereavement for pastoral counseling I started thinking about that. It made me think of the jingle, poem, whatever it is that all us grandkids learned.

Honko Tonko, Hokey Pokey
Hingery Jingery sokey mokey
Honko tonko, Hoke Poke
all in the Tonago Islands

Hey ro, Jay ro
Long come a rat trap
Penny winkle, yellow bubble
ring gum bonnie micha kime bo


I have no idea what it means. I have no idea if it is spelled correctly as we learned it by rote.
Someone taught it to my grandfather and he taught it to us.

Makes me smile though!

The 4th Wall

From Wikipedia
"The fourth wall is the imaginary invisible wall at the front of the stage in a proscenium theatre, through which the audience sees the action in the world of the play. While the origin of the term cannot be confirmed, the concept is generally presumed to have begun in the nineteenth century theatre with the advent of theatrical realism."

I was introduced to this term by Dr. Jennifer Lord. It is what allows for the suspension of reality. So what does this look like in the church? When we preach, is there a 4th wall between us and the congregation? Although you can sense if someone is preaching authentically, I wonder if we look and listen through a 4th wall that allows the preacher to be something they are not, or allows them to have more authority? A new question to ponder.

Peace.

Where does your first step take you?

This was the question I was asked as a high school junior while at Olympic Development Program soccer camp. We were working on reading and handling flighted balls into the box. My first step was forward, toward the player who had just kicked the ball. Needless to say, I got burned deep several times. That was when the question came "Where does your first step take you?"

The coach went on to explain that I needed to stay put for a count and read the flight of the ball as well as account for spin, wind, and positioning of other players both offense and defense. I struggled with this. I still wanted to attack. The coach finally stood in the goal behind me and grabbed hold of the tail of my jersey. He held it for a count after the ball was kicked, yanking on it if I stepped forward. Once I quit fighting him, he let me try it on my own. I figured out that if I stepped back, I gave myself a better read on the ball and put myself in better postion to win the ball first.

The same question has resurfaced in the seminary environment. My inclination is to take my first step forward, toward whatever issue/problem is at hand. In meeting with a spiritual director, I need to work on taking a step back or at least staying put until I can assess the situation and then respond as I need to. Only when I take the time to read the situation, can I give myself the best chance of responding appropriately. I also give myself a chance to position help where I need them and rely on others and their gifts instead of only my own.

Peace,

I love when God intervenes in life

This is an excerpt from the book "His Princess: Love Letters from Your King" by Sheri Rose Shepard. this was sent to me by an incredible young woman who was one of many that I had the priviledge of coaching in my 7 years at NHS. I haven't talked to Jordan in several years, but this excerpt greatly impacted me. Go God!

“My Princess…I have set you apart

I have called you to be set apart, just as I called those who came before you. I know this calling will sometimes come with great cost, but the eternal rewards are priceless and beyond comparison. Just as I did with Queen Esther, I have given you the ability to walk in such a way so all will see that you are divinely Mine. Some will admire you for your dedication to Me, and some will want you to fail rather than follow your lead. You may fall because you are not perfect, but your mistakes can be the tutors that make you wiser. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect. I’m the only one who can perfect you, My princess. All I ask is that you let Me set you apart so that I can use you as a witness for the world to see.”

Love,
Your King who sets you apart

Thank you to my friends

To my friends who have known that something wasn't right in my world, I owe you huge thanks. For those who have checked in with me, taken time to talk, and who have simply allowed me to be unsettled and are a presence with me I can never thank you enough. That is one the most incredible pieces about APTS, you all are wonderful! Peace

The struggle of the semester...

Trapped….trapped in a little room with God
Psalm 139 echoes off the walls, or is it in my head?

“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.”
I can’t run away, there is nowhere to go, you are everywhere.
My head spins as you lay your hand upon me.

Too many thoughts fill my mind,
I can’t do what you ask of me
I don’t want to do what you have asked of me
I don’t want to lead

I can’t stand this little room any longer
I don’t have the strength to keep fighting
I am tired from wrestling day in and day out
But I can’t quit,
If I could only let go
But I can’t, nor will you let me go

I read Isaiah “comfort, comfort o my people”
But I find no comfort right now
A voice cries out….
This is quoted in Luke
A voice of the one crying out in the wilderness
Is this what I am to do
Am I to be a voice crying out in the wilderness?

One in a Yellow Shirt

This sermon was preached for an elective class "Women, Voice, and Preaching" at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. One of my friends who read it told me it was more effective when he read it aloud.
Mark 10:35-45

Who do they think they are anyway? Over talking to him and did you hear what they asked? They want to sit at his right and left hand, asking Jesus to give them the places of honor and power. Stinking Rabbi’s pets! Why do they think they are so special? They go up the mountain with Jesus and Peter and all of a sudden they think they are all that. Maybe they will get rebuked like Peter did the other day. What? No! How can Jesus listen to James and John? I don’t believe this!

Verse 41 tells us that the disciples began to be angry with James and John. But are the disciples angry? Or are they jealous and upset by the brothers as they attempt to gain favor? A chapter earlier all of the disciples had been arguing about who was the greatest and now James and John have all but declared their greatness by approaching Jesus. How often are we dragged into jealous anger? Think back to elementary school or middle school, there was always someone who was perceived as the “teacher’s pet.” Just as we perceive others are seeking favor with a teacher, the disciples make the same assumption. The indignation of the others becomes a turning point in the text from James and John to Jesus and his correction of all of the disciples.

James and John asked to sit on the right and left hand of Jesus, the right hand being the position of power and honor. They wanted to be recognized above the others. However, they didn’t know what they were really asking. Even when Jesus questions them, they don’t get it. Jesus asks if James and John “can drink the cup he drinks and can be baptized with the baptism he is baptized with.” They answer that they can, but they take these questions to mean they can share in the glory of the one Peter has called the Christ. They don’t understand that these are related to suffering and death . James and John are only concerned with sharing in rule and fame. This self-serving request is not hard for our culture to understand. We are a culture of “What’s in it for me?” It isn’t enough anymore to just keep up with the Jones’, now we have to run over them with our new Hummer that is the biggest and baddest thing on the road. It reminds me of the old bumper sticker “He who dies with the most toys wins.” The discourse between James and John and Jesus shows the misunderstanding of the disciples that is a continual theme throughout Mark’s gospel.

Jesus takes this misunderstanding of the brothers Zebedee and the anger of the disciples as an opportunity to further explain the nature of true discipleship. Jesus begins by pointing out the authorities and high officials of the day who lord their rule over the Gentiles, but it is not to be like that with the disciples. True discipleship is not about flaunting authority. Jesus goes on to tell them that if they want to be great, then they need to be a servant and if they want to be first they must be the slave of all. How does serving someone else or being a slave make one great?

Jesus says “The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve.” Putting another’s desires and needs ahead of your own, regarding another as more important, where is the power in that? By worldly standards there isn’t power to be gained in serving. This point was made abundantly clear to me as I watched the movie Jesus Camp. This documentary is about the evangelical movement and in particular a summer camp for kids. The camp is a way of indoctrination. The film chronicles the journey of three kids to this camp and their subsequent travels around the nation. One of the people they meet is Ted Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals and founder and senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He makes the comment in the movie that if the evangelicals vote, they control the polls. The movie shows a faith that is steeped in politics. Faith with a political agenda is the faith of the Pharisees and Scribes. It is the type of faith that causes Jesus to correct the disciples. So how does serving others give anyone power? In seeking to serve others, with no ulterior motives, we maintain our power. We make a choice; we use our power to lift another up, not to push ahead of them. The power that comes from serving cannot be controlled and makes those who seek worldly power uncomfortable.

We are like the disciples in Mark’s gospel, we don’t get Jesus either. The disciples have argued about who is the greatest and now James and John have asked for glory. How many Christians do you know who are Christians because it looks good to others, because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? You know, Christianity the easy way, showing up for church occasionally, trying to live a good life, being nice to people most of the time, but nothing that really pushes us. We don’t want to stand out after all. We like blending in with the crowd and being another nameless face, but is that what we are truly called to?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer speaks to this in his book The Cost of Discipleship. We like what Bonhoeffer calls “cheap grace.” It is grace that we take without ever changing. It covers our sins, but requires nothing from us. It allows us to give lip service following Christ. What Jesus calls the disciples and us to is costly grace . Grace that was purchased by his atoning death, grace that calls us to leave everything and follow, grace, that calls us to be with Jesus and requires sacrifice, grace that calls us to service of others. We, like the disciples are seeking worldly power and we don’t get the message of Jesus.

Jesus calls us to follow, and like the disciples, calls us to serve. Jesus says “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” So does this mean we are to give our lives to save others? This is not within our power to do. Christ has redeemed the world through his atoning death. He has paid the price. The priest has become the sacrifice and in doing so has won victory over death. This is only possible as the Incarnate Word, the Son of God. We are called to give our lives in service to others, to follow the one who calls us, the one the disciples followed, the one called Jesus.

We were assigned to read the Bible in dislocation, so I headed out one evening to Mozart’s, a local coffee shop, and a favorite haunt of mine for reading theology and staring at ducks, but not reading the Bible, at least not until that night. While waiting in line to order coffee, a man in a bright yellow and red Hawaiian shirt struck up a conversation with me. Nothing earth shattering, but he was the only one in a long line to talk to me. How often is this kind of action frowned upon in society? He picked up his order and disappeared. Then I saw him again, standing out against the crowd. He moved across the deck and up the stairs to help the next musician bring in equipment. Then he helped the musicians switch equipment, not because it was his job, he just did it.

By day, under the shining sun, students study, folks engaged lively conversations,
a boat engine roars as it zooms across the water.
By night, in the pale glow of lights, students study, people talk quietly,
a guitar sings out worship songs across the deck.

Coffee in hand, I take in the scene around me.
The smell of coffee and of fish
The sound of computer keys and of people talking ,
The sight of people hunched over computers or just relaxing.
The taste of chocolate and caramel to sweeten bitter coffee.
The feel of a wooden bench, the uneven wooden table top.

I read the Bible and look around again.
Students competing for grades, trying to be number one.
People absorbed in self
Except one
One in a yellow shirt
One who is unassuming, one who strikes up conversation with a stranger.

Pairs of people sitting together at a table
But conversing with the cell phone attached to their ear
People, trying to get ahead.
Except one
One in a yellow shirt
One who walks to greet the next musician, who offers to carry equipment

I read the text again. James and John want the positions of glory
The others have argued over it too and are upset with them.
They want to get ahead, like the rulers around them.
Except one,
One named Jesus
One who had come to serve, not to be served..

Jesus doesn’t reprimand James and John, but explains further
Glory and power are not his to grant.
The disciples are to be different from the world, they are to be like
The one,
One named Jesus
One who came to serve, and who gave his life to serve others.

James and John want to share in glory and power, and they make the others angry when they approach Jesus. Jesus takes the opportunity to explain the nature of discipleship to them again. The disciples are to be different from the world. Disciples are not to seek worldly power, but instead are to seek to serve the world. The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life for the ransom of many. We are the recipients of costly grace, grace that requires us to drop everything, to put others ahead of ourselves and to seek to serve like the One, the One named Jesus.

By night, in the pale glow of lights, I take in the scene around me, I read the Bible
People seeking worldly power, like James and John
Except one, One in a yellow shirt
He seeks to serve, he reminds me of the life we are called to.
To be like the One.
The one, who served, the one who gave his life for many.

What a Monday it was

Whew....Monday is done.
Today was the day we got ord results back. I passed all 4. Yippee! Several of my friends did as well. Some of my friends didn't do as well as they had hoped. Made for an intersting day on campus.

The other big hurdle of the day was preaching my sermon for "Women, Voice, and Preaching." It went very well and I got some good feedback from my classmates. I have watched my DVD - since we have to turn in a one page self analysis - and it was okay. I liked the sermon itself, but there are many questions about effective delivery that run through my mind.

It was a good Monday.
Peace.

Have you seen Jesus Camp???

Went to see the movie Jesus Camp tonight. Found it scary, disconcerting, eye-opening, and affirming.
Scary in what is going on in the world of the uber evangelicals. Endoctrination of the young which for me amounts to manipulation for the purpose of political power.
Disconcerting in that I hear the name of God raised, but I don't see it in action. It is not about taking care of the homeless, the hungry, or the naked, but the movie is about political issues.
Eye-opening in that these are salt of the earth kinds of people who are looking for leadership and safety. When one of the leaders of the evangelical movements, Ted Haggard is talking about if the evangelicals all vote they control the polls and it is a good life.
Affirming in what I am called to and where I stand on my own beliefs. Also kinda scary in what I feel I am called to and where I stand on my own beliefs.

I think all Christians should see this film and engage in discussion about it.

Peace

FALL BREAK!!!!!

Woo Hoo! It is fall break. I am off to Louisville for a meeting for a few days, then it is time for golf, sleep, and play - probably in that order too. And a worship conference at the end of the week. Then back to mill for 6 more weeks. But at least there is a break first!!!

Peace

Too many voices

What do you do when you have too many voices running in your head that aren't yours. I have read so many books lately that I think all of the authors voices are more prominent than my own. I hate this continuous rebuilding stuff that goes on at seminary. Just as I think I have my #*$% together, I take another class (es) that shatters that idea and I have to rebuild again.

I think this has added to the round of dreams lately about getting 1's on the ords. It is my subconscious mind acting out the terror that I feel thinking about the fact that I graduate in May and that in a year I could be ordained and serving a chruch.

YIKES!!

Outta Step

I remember when I was in the Pride of Oklahoma always being warned about not missing the step off. People would notice if you were out of step or out of line. Well, that is what I am feeling like. I feel like I am out of step. I am being pulled in a variety of directions and feel like I am doing nothing but running. I feel like several engines on the plane have quit and I have called in the mayday to get landing assistance. Hopefully, some time this weekend will help re-fire the engines.

Just for David....

David, since you asked, here are a few of the notorious quotes from our beloved professor. There are many more, but here are a few.

Nothing is as new as what is old
To gather as a community we commit theology
Never neglect the use of strange funny words
There is much to recommend evangelical poverty and the best way to achieve it is the buy books.

I'll have to post some periodically.

Saved from SIlence

This is the title of a book I have been reading for Women, Voice, and Preaching this semester. It is about women finding their voice in preaching, but it speaks on other levels as well. The last chapter (if you can call it that) is called Coda and I think I have more written in the margins and underlined in the last few pages that in several parts of the book.

It starts off talking about the need for power and that in the technological age we have lost our voice. This makes me wonder how we go about maintaining power, gaining power, etc. Basically we do it by not allowing other voices to be heard. We have become a sound byte community and we talk in movie and TV clips rather than saying things for ourselves. The book contends that the church itself has lost it's voice.

Is the church about helping people find their authentic voice? HMMMMM would that be like, oh, I don't know, equipping the saints? I think the church has not only lost its voice, but has lost its very identity and its story. We ahve allowed ourselves to forget our story as it existed throughout the centuries and as it exists today.

Is the Christian story and more specifically the Presbyterian story about following Christ and living into the good news that is the saving power of Christ or is it about being the morality police? Is our story about a quest for earthly power or to live into the counter-cultural kingdom of God? Is it about looking at people and who God has made them to be, or is it about putting our own standards up first? God judges the heart, while we judge the outside of a person.

This book has raised questions within me and has helped me look at the importance of voice. How do we make sure we are not among those who oppress other voices? How do we become the voice, maybe the lone voice, speaking for those who cannot? How do we help raise their voice to get over the din of the world?

Wish I knew the answers, but then the questions would change.

Peace

I Love Reverend Fun Pictures

Is this picture reminiscent of our churches in general? Have we forgotten to "preach to the choir" and let things get out of control?

Which Theologian are you?

Thanks to Ryan and David for taking this test. Well, I am a Calvinist, although not sure I am actually as strong a one as this indicates.

John Calvin 100% Anselm 67% J�rgen Moltmann 60% Martin Luther 53% Karl Barth 53% Friedrich Schleiermacher 40% Jonathan Edwards 33% Charles Finney 33% Augustine 27% Paul Tillich 13% Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Letter or Spirit?

Ted Wardlaw preached for the opening worship service of the school year last night. He quoted Barbara Brown Taylor who speaks of turning ink into blood. This is a phrase I have come across while reading Jana Childers book "Performing the Word." Taylor makes the point that we get so caught up in the ink that we forget the blood that was shed on its behalf. We would rather sit and read the ink than get out and interact with those around us. Turning ink into blood is about putting into practice what is written in ink, giving the words life.

On that note it makes me wonder, are we, Presbyterians (or whoever actually), people of the letter of the law or the spirit of the law? Do we worry more about what is in writing or what is behind the writing? It makes me wonder if we need to spend less time worrying about the printed page and more time trying to live out what is written.

Taylor spoke to the fact that Christians behave the worst when they are defending God. It is as if in our finiteness that we could defend the infinite. How is it that we have decided that we are so righteous that we can defend God?

All this goes back to what I thought earlier in the summer that the PC(USA) particularly has become very pharisaical. We are the keepers of the holy traditions and the holy words. We are adamant about being clean on the outside, but not so much when it comes from the inside. Jesus called the Pharisees on that one. It is not what goes in that defiles us, it is what comes out of us that does.

Okay enough random thoughts for now....Peace.

A question of passion

Listening to the sermon this morning, and thinking about several worship services I have attended in the last several months what I have discovered is that I feel like most if not all lack passion. It is like we are going through the motions decently and in order as good Presbyterians should. We have become a denomination of pacifists that would rather not do anything.

This is actually evidenced by the zillions of letters to the editor of the Layman about the dozen or so conservative splinter groups, who have yet to do anything. I actually applaud Kird of the Hills in Tulsa for up and leaving. They have a conviction about what they are about and did something.

I don't think apostacy is going to kill the Presbyterian church, I think it is apathy. Very rarely have I sensed fire from those leading worship and even less from the congregation. How can we be on fire for God if we don't even have any fire within us. What good does it do to pass on an unlit torch?

As I have been reading preaching books this summer I have discovered more questions than I have answers for and I plan to pursue those questions with professors. In reflecting on GA and Montreat I have discovered that there is more arguement over politics than theology. When did the church let go of theology in favor of political power plays? Why have we let ourselves be more about worldly things than God's plan?

It is time for a new era of reformation. To be the church reformed and always being reformed. This reformation needs to take place in the hearts of the believers. Preachers need to preach with passion and conviction as well as sound theology and biblical study. Preachers need to connect with their congregations and be open and vulnerable with them. What is the passion of the preacher, how does that ignite the believer in the pew.

There is an old camp song...It only takes a spark to get a fire glowing, and soon all those around can warm around its glowing. That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You want to sing, its fresh like spring, you want to pass it on. May we all have the divine spark within us ignited that we may be on fire for God.

Peace

I Survived Hell Week...I mean ordination exams

Well, as of 9:00 this morning ordination exams are over. All the tests are turned in and on their way to Louisville where they will be sent somewhere to be graded in early October. I will know at the end of October whether I passed or whether I get the fun and excitement of doing all or part of this again. So, I was going for 5's (highest grade), praying for 4's, will be thrilled with 3's and if I get 2's will have the fun of doing them over again. Yippee.

But for now it is sleep and time to play for a few days before classes start.

Peace

Hazing hath a new name

Yes, folks, hazing hath a new name...it is ORDINATION EXAMS!!!
This is a bizarre form of hazing that occurs just prior to your senior year. A day and a half spent in 3 hours blocks writing over 9 questions. Theology, Worship and Polity are the disciplines tested. Theology and Worship each have 1 question that you get to use the Book of Confessions as a resource, the other questions, you and your brain are on your own. Polity, they give you the book, but it takes time to look stuff up, so not as much time to write. Then...if that weren't enough to fry your brain, at noon on Saturday you are given and OT and NT Bible passage and questions. You pick Greek or Hebrew and have 5 days to write an exegesis paper (answer 6 of 9 or so questions provided), write a focus statement and a sermon outline. And you pay to let people do this to you...what kind of nuts is that?!

So as of Thursday at 9:01 am, I will have survived hell week, i mean ordination exams. And then all that is left is to pray for 3's.

Thanks for thoughts and prayers, there is now light at the end of the tunnel...I think.

Peace

AAACCKK!!!! ORDS ARE COMING!!!

Haven't posted in a while. Have started studying for ords. Several friends have said "You'll have no problems." Wish I felt that confident. I did like what my friend Martha reminded me though. The answers are in my head, I just have to let them out to play. Studying abounds and the stress levels begin to rise. For all of you unlucky enough to be around those of us taking ords, remember to take us with a grain of salt. We may be cranky and snippy, but know it is the stress of 4 freaking tests that you have to pass to move ahead with what you feel God is calling you to do. Prayers are appreciated!

Prayer of the Weeks to come:
Dear God, you have called me to this place, and have called me to this vocation. I can only do this through your grace. Help me continue to trust in you, that your will be done, even when I try and get in the way of that. Amen.

Peace.

Return Of The Revolution

These are the lyrics to an OC Supertones song. Listened to it today in my car. Since I just watched the movie Luther again, some of this is still fresh in my mind. More later on my thoughts of return of the revolution...

There ain’t no stopping us now
I’d like to say that from the outset
Not up in this business just to get what we can get
But bet that
We gonna bring it to you loud and clear
How loud I gotta say it ’fore you people start to hear
I can name our problems
But I know a solution
Bring back the revolution.

The revolution comes and we all stand as one
Rises from the darkness and shines like the sun
As the sun gets higher, our church catches fire
Down from our pride and up from the mire.
It’s a dream that I’ve had and I hope it comes true
I forgot to say the revolution starts with you.

See wisdom and knowledge is one thing that we lack
You’ve been a christian how long and you’re still on similac
So I call on Martin Luther and all the reformation back
Then the common people couldn’t read God’s revelation
You had to be a monk or a priest to read latin
That was all before the revolution happened.

But the fire cooled down ever since that generation
We put down the Bible and pick up the play station
And we can’t defend our faith ’cause we don’t even know it
We say we love his word but pick a funny way to show it.
The world walks by and we don’t have a thing to say
I call ’em as I see ’em. And that’s what I see today

Chorus:
The revolution returns
The reformation lives on
The great awakening is now
Sleepers open your eyes
A war is on, our rally cry is no compromise
No compromise, yeah, no compromise
A war is on, our battle cry is no compromise
So throw your fist up and pray the revolution rise
A war is on, our rally cry is no compromise

Our hearts have grown so cold
And we’ve such numb souls
But shirts and bumper stickers
Man we got ’em by the truckload
Is true religion what you have around your wrist
What does the scripture say of this

They honor me with words
But their hearts are far away
I call ’em like I see ’em
And that’s what I see today
So I call on John Edwards
Who preched us all awake
We try to be emotional but here is our mistake
As a church we lack repentance and we lack true affection
Not only in our minds but our hearts need correction
And man that’s true religion, resignation and contrition
To love each other so much that we’d die before division

(chorus)

So what about you
Will you join us
Will you admit that the waters around us have grown
You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
Do you stand with us or do we stand alone
It’s time that we stand up, enlist for the war
I’ve tasted battle and now I want more
I’ve known the truth and been cut to the core
But I’m back in the game to even the score
And I mean to go out with both my guns blazing
Amazed at a God who’s so truly amazing
To triumph in battle as the spirit enables
Can’t turn back the clock but we can turn the tables

Purity...Since when?

Had a thought today about peace, unity and purity. And what I got stuck on was purity. Since when has the church actually been pure? The early church struggled with the issue of circumcision. Did you have to be a Jew before you could be a Christian? How is it that the Gentiles were allowed to become a part of the church? The very act of bringing outsiders into the church blows the issue of purity apart does it not?

Purity makes me think of the countries that have destroyed groups of people in the name of racial purity (yes, I am reading a fiction book that has to do with the Nazis, so this is fresh in my mind). Is the church becoming so exclusionist, that we are willing to strive for "purity" at the expense of keeping those unlike us out? Or is the church to be a place where all are welcome at the expense of purity?

What do we mean by peace, unity and purity? Are we talking about tolerance, uniformity, and sameness? I think there are pockets of folk in the church that are. Tolerate other religions, they have the right to exist, but they are inferior; Uniformity of belief and thought, you have to think the same way I do; and purity should then follow. I honestly think this is where some people want the church to track.

The issue of biblical authority has been a hot topic all summer since there are those who feel that others have strayed. One of the things I have always valued about being Presbyterian is that there has always been room in the churches I have been a part of, to struggle with interpretation. I have never been told that this is what I have to believe, but have been given basic understanding and been allowed to wrestle and to dialogue with others. Am I always right? No. But the community with which I study is how I know that. I can bounce ideas off of them and if they are not received then I can dismiss them and learn from others. I like that!

I don't want to be in a church where everyone acts, talks and thinks the same. It is a bit redundant. I want to be with people who challenge me to open my mind and my heart and who will struggle along with me to see what God might be doing.

Think about it. What do we mean when we talk of purity? Is that really what we want?

Back in Austin

After spending the 4th at home with family, 4 days in North Carolina, and a week with the family...it is nice to be back in Austin. While I was home I went to the Oklahoma Historical Museum and the Sam Noble Natural History Museum with my nephews and spent time actally reading for fun.

I also preaching in 4 churches in 2 weeks. The largest congregation was 25 and the smallest was 7. Great fun doing pulpit supply though.

Now it is time to begin studying for ords. I am part way through Shirley Guthries "Christian Doctrine" and am reading the Book of Confessions again. Time to brush up all those skills that I have been learning.

Amazing Grace

At the beginning of one of the plenary sessions on Thursday, I saw a lady down the pew from me wearing a Montreat cross. I had seen them on the website and was going to get one to wear when I preach. I asked her if she had gotten that in the bookstore here. A conversation ensued with Mary and she asked if this was my first time at Montreat. We only spoke for a few minutes as the session began.

At the end of the session, she stepped toward me, extending her hand. She pressed the cross into my hand and said it was to remember my first Montreat experience by. I have worn the cross during the rest of the conference and will wear it when I preach. If nothing else to remind me of the amazing grace that abounds within the church. The church has become fragmented in the last couple of weeks, but there truly is still hope. We must be willing to reach out to others, even those we don't know, and extend a hand and the gift, the touch of peace.

Montreat views

This is the view looking over Lake Susan to Assembly Inn where I am staying. This is a gorgeous retreat site. The clouds hung low over the mountains this morning as we went to plenary session. It is peaceful, it rained last night, it is cool with a gentle breeze. Wish I could bottle it up and bring it home.

Sitting, listening to the frogs croak and the rain fall,
I notice how many sounds I miss most of the time.
There is too much other clutter in my heart, my soul, my mind.

A few days of simplistic life
Days of listening and thinking about God’s call
A chance to just be and to be in God’s presence

The majesty of the mountains,
The splendor of creation
The softly falling rain and the frogs lull me to sleep


Peace

Howdy from Montreat

Having never been to Montreat before, let me just say...WOW!!!!! Gorgeous views and wonderful camp site. I hope to post some pictures in the coming days and will post news(on the GA Blog) from the "Hope of the Church Conference" that I am attending. We started tonight with worship, led by Moderator Joan Gray.

Will post more when I decide to take a break from the gorgeous scenery. :)

Peace out!

Reading Shirley Guthrie and thinking about GA

As I begin preparation for ords, I picked up Shirley Guthrie's "Christian Doctrine." In light of my experiences at GA different things have jumped off the page.

In his discussion about studying the Bible he states "There is always the danger that we will find in the Bible only what we take with us to it - that we will use it to confirm what we already think and will hear only what we want to hear.... What is to keep us from simply using the Bible to give authority to our own religious, social, political and economic prejudices What is to prevent us from using the study of this ancient book as a pious excuse for refusing to face the radical claims of the living God on every area of our lives, hear and now?" - p 11

"The self-revelation of God is in fact so new and unexpected that it is often offensive to those who think they already know who God is and what God must say and do if God is really God." - 56

These 2 pieces made me think back to GA and wonder what lens are we viewing Scripture through? Are we bringing our biases and fears hoping to find only what we want or are we willing to let go and let God be God? Christianity has always had a scandalous edge to it, perhaps moving toward the ordination of GLBT persons in the next scandalous move. After all blacks and women have been allowed to preach.

The struggle of theology continues....

Theological Issues...

Walking away from GA one of the things that grabbed hold of me is the lack of theological depth in the church today. Many of the debates that should have been from a theological point, were not, there was more debate on a personal emotional level. Along with this is the lack of Scriptural awarness and a difference of how we interpret Scripture. There are many ways Presbyterians have historically interpreted Scripture, but the most prevalent to me at GA, was what do I bring to the text and how does the text say what I want it to say. So where have we gotten lost?

I was reading Michael Jinkins book "Letters to New Pastors" the other day and something he said struck me. The theology of the congregation is only as deep as the hymns it sings. So how has the prevalence of contemporary music (particularly the old 7-11 songs - 7 words sung 11 times) and the changing of the old hymns and in some cases getting rid of them affected congregational theology? Because we have tried to use more inclusive language have we begun to lose the ability to see God as utterly transcendent? Does the phrase "High King of Heaven" point us to a transcendent God?

How do we begin to reclaim our theological heritage? How do we help our congregation rediscover the importance of them each being a theologian and that theology truly does matter? I can't help but wonder if we as a denomination and as the larger catholic church, if we would be in a better place that we are now. How has a lack of theological understanding impacted what we are doing as church (or not doing)? How has our lack of understanding added to the arguements?

The Trinity paper raised a ton of debate that I wasn't sure where it came from. But then I got an email from my sister after an article ran in the local paper. She was totally against the names brought forth as other ways to speak about the triune God. What I feel that she and a bunch of people missed was the fact that every image for the triune God, was to be anchored in the historical formula of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No one was out to change the baptismal formula or say we could use the historic names. It was instead a time to encourage the church to look beyond one way to name the triune God and to look at Scriptural images that are used and bring those forth.

This has caused me to stop and look at what I feel called to do. I feel strongly about theological education in the church. I wonder if this my deep joy that intersects with a need in the church.

Nice to be home

GA in Birmingham was an incredible experience, although something akin to drinking from a fire hose. I have been posting the last several days on the GA blog, which, I will continue to post stuff there as I prepare to go to Montreat for "The Hope of the Church" but I will start posting here again as well.

I didn't realize how tired I was after GA until Saturday. This week is finishing up some financial aid stuff and then it is back to Oklahoma for a few weeks with Montreat in between. While I am in Oklahoma I will do a couple weeks of supply preaching. One of the lectionary texts is from 2 Samuel as Uzziah touches the ark and dies (although they leave that out). If I were in a gutsier mood I would attempt to tackle that text, but maybe not. I lean toward 2 Corinthians 12 and the thorn in Paul's side "my grace is sufficient for you" is the phrase that jumps off the page. We'll see where I am lead with this.

Peace.

HYMNS FOR EVERYBODY

HYMNS FOR EVERYBODY
Good evening, friends, and welcome to our hymn sing. We are pleased
to announce that we have a hymn for everyone. Our program this
evening will include:

The Dentist's Hymn - Crown Him with Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn - There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn - The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn - Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn - There Is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn - Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn - Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn - I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn - Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn - Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn - Sweet By and By
The Realtor's Hymn - I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapist's Hymn - He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn - The Great Physician

And for you motorists at..

45 mph - God Will Take Care of You
55 mph - Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph - Nearer My God To Thee
75 mph - Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph - This World Is Not My Home
95 mph - Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100 mph - Precious Memories!!!!

Go See Cars!

A group of us went last night to see Pixar's Cars. Cute movie. Great soundtrack! We went to a theater that was showing it in DLP (digital projection) WOW!!! Big difference. I love that animated movies now are written for the adults as well. I think this graphically is the best of the Pixar movies and while it has a good story line, I still am a fan of the Incredibles.

New Blog just for the GA Experience

I just created a new blog that is devoted to my experience at GA and a conference 2 weeks later. This is the summer adventure. I will post as often as I can while at GA and Montreat. The new address is linked below.

Future Moderator

We'll just have to wait and see if this title is fitting or not. This adventure could either affirm a thought from SYS I almost 2 years ago or make me breath a sigh of relief. Only one week left.

A Trip Home

It was nice to be home and to see family and friends. I spent the first few days playing with my nephews Josh and Jayson. Then they left with their Mom and Dad and my other sister and dad for France for a week. Besides playing with the boys, I also had time to see folks from my church and who I used to teach with.


Aah Norman, Oklahoma. Home of the OU Sooners. This is the North end of the stadium. There are times that I forget how much I miss the sites of my home town. Especially during football season.


While I was home I also had the opportunity to participate in worship at my home church. Having been in several different churches, I really like my home church.

Although is was nice to be home, it was also nice to come back to Austin and see my frends here. Now begins the preparation for General Assembly in Birmingham. Right now my glorified thought is to post daily from GA. We'll just have to see if that actually happens.

Jumpstart your blog.....thanks David

Jumpstart your blog
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
[5. Don't you dare dig for that cool/intellectual book you hide away under the bed for occasions such as these ... Yes, I'm lookin' at you! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.]

Was looking at fellow seminarian blogs and stumbled upon this from David...

"It evokes in us painful memories of historical instances in which the belonging of one to another was abusive, not comforting. The nineteenth and twentieth centuries were times when consciousness rose regarding the ownership of slaves by masters, the absorption of wives' identities into those of their husbands, and the economic possession of some countries by others. In reaction to these oppressive power relationships, it isno wonder that we tend to value autonomy over interdependence."

This is from the Book Conversations with the Confessions, and the essay is titled "What Does God Have to Do with Us?"
This book is a series of essays from different leaders within the the church, but guess who this one happens to be authored by? This is one of the books that I have set out to read as I study for ordination exams in August.

DONE!!

Yippee! I am officially done. The last paper has been emailed and now I am off to see the Da Vinci Code.
Peace out!

Thursday.....

It's Thursday, 5 projects in 1 to go. It's theology, I am a theology nerd, but yes even I get sick of it.
At 7:05 this evening I have been quoted as saying, "I don't want to do theology anymore."

But oh well, back at it.

Going into the home stretch

One week left, 3 classes done, 3 to go. Spent the better part of the day in San Antonion for commissioner training for GA. Didn't learn a whole lot and spent about as much time on the road as in the meeting. Oh well. GA will be fun this summer.

Hope to get Ellen's paper done by Tuesday (take it to Light German) as well as most of my project for Lewie. Then it will be 3 days of nothing but atonement. Almost there, the end is in site, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may still be a train......

My Word Cloud

Thanks to David and the Pink Princess for the link to the word cloud!

How Sinful are you???

I found this one humorous and not very accurate....in my opinion. :)

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60%

Gluttony: 20%

Pride: 20%

Envy: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

Classes are OVER!

Well, classes are wrapped up for the semester, now it is reading and finals weeks. 2 weeks to get everything else done which for me includes:
Theology of Mission and Evangelism
Spiritual Journaling reflection paper
Greek Exegesis project
Paper on Bernard of Clairvaux and John Calvin
Paper on Atonement theories and what it means to be "Easter People"

Lots of reading and writing to do in the upcoming 14 days. It is the last sprint to the end.

Opening Night at the Blanton Art Museum

Tonight was the opening of a new museum of art. The Blanton is on the south side of the UT campus. I went with Pepa and Patrick and we ran into some other seminary folk like Deborah and Kathleen. Some very cool art and some modern stuff that I am not overly fond of, but it was a great evening. I will definitely go back, Thursdays are free...very cool. I highly recommend it as a cultural outing!!! 4 of 5 stars!

Mountain Wings daily devotional today

Sometimes they speak to me and sometimes they yell.....

A Full Day
===========

This is a response from a MountainWings subscriber. I emailed
her with a suggestion and she responded with the details of her
typical day.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the demands of the day.

Don't you?

It helps to keep our day in perspective when we get a glimpse
into someone else's day. I felt her description might just give
us a little more appreciation of our own day.


from Zelda:

I barely have time to read MountainWings.

I am 65 years old, work full time and do my own housework,
which becomes more of a challenge all the time.

My husband is disabled and unable to help me.
Right now I am picking up walnuts outside, to sell.
I am slower than I used to be at this, because this makes my one
whole leg and hip hurt.

My youngest son and his family were here for about 6 1/2 hours
tonight. Their children are 5, 3-1/2, and 1. The two oldest
are boys. They helped me pick up walnuts, water flowers, etc.
while they were here.

I fixed supper for 8 people tonight, fixed my grandsons' plates
and ate with them while other people did their own thing.

I have cooked three meals today, cleaned up the dishes and done
laundry. I also read to my grandsons and helped to keep my
year-old granddaughter occupied.

I've also had help to takes clothes out of the clothes dryer,
etc.

In my spare time, I make the greeting cards that I send, I am
working on my husband's genealogy, and am now working on a
calendar to give people for Christmas.

I have just completed a book "A Lifetime Together," covering the
46 years my husband and I have known each other. I also handle
the family budget and correspondence.

Now I must finish on the computer, so I can get to bed and get a
little rest before I must get up in the morning and start
another busy day.

Zelda

We all work so hard, often without a break.

We need a day now more than ever. Impossible you say?
Too much to do.
Can't rest, can't stop, can't slow down.

Get real sick and see if you don't slow down.

At my company, I had to force employees to take their vacation.
I passed a rule that if they didn't take their vacation time,
they would lose it.

Some griped at first, they would rather keep working and get
paid for those days, but many came to me afterwards.
They were so thankful that I made them take a vacation.
They said they didn't realize how tired they were.

It's just good business sense. We perform better refreshed than
burned out. A constant grind wears us out and breaks us down.

Maybe we should listen to the 4th Commandment.
Virtually every religion incorporates a period of rest.
Even farmers know, to get the best production out of the soil,
the soil needs to rest one year in seven.

There is a sermon on www.AirJesus.com on that very thing called,
"The Fourth Commandment." If you are tired, go to AirJesus.com
and listen to it.

The 4th Commandment of the Kings James Bible was simply to rest
one day a week.

Even dirt needs rest.
So do we.

~A MountainWings Original~

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Cyber Scream! I feel better, at least a little bit, for now.

a few days later and a big dose of humility

Well.....I still am stressed over the school work that is looming the next few weeks, but reality came screaming into the picture today. To find out some of the stories of classmates and what is going on in their life outside of the classroom. Prayers go out to lots of my classmates and to those back home in Oklahoma affected by the latest round of storms.

Not Triumphantly but somehow

This has become my frame of mind. School is overwhelming and the stress is mounting. Two weeks of class then reading week and finals week, not sure how everything is going to get done, but somehow...just not sure triumphantly. AAAAHHHHHHHH!

You learn something new everyday

Today, what I learned is that me and contemporary worship on big liturgical Sundays don't mix. I played trombone at a local church for 2 contemporary services with a seminary friend of mine. The services were well done, well attended, good lituragy, good preaching, good music, nothing wrong with the service...it's just that it wasn't a fit for me. It was weird as I drove away from the church to realize that I didn't feel like I had truly celebrated Easter.

Now part of this is my traditional upbringing, part of it is the fact that for the last 21 years I have played in a brass ensemble at my home church, and part of it is I get very stuck in my own sense of tradition.

Upon further reflection, and driving in my car listening to a CD of the home church service from last year, I realized that I had several church members come up to me and comment on how much my playing added to their worship, that it made it more special. Perhaps that was the Easter message I was to get today. It perhaps is not about me feeling like I have celebrated Easter, but instead, helping others feel like they have celebrated the risen Lord.

I have the opportunity to be in classes all week and wonder in amazement about this thing we call religion. To stop sometimes in utter disbelief at what we profess as Christians. After all it makes NO logical sense, it's not like I was one of the women at the empty tomb thousands of years ago, but yet, I believe that Christ is Risen, Christ has conquered death and has descended into hell (can't stand that descended to the dead stuff...another story) and has risen and sits at the right hand of God.

Maybe, just maybe, because I believe...God was using me to help someone else believe today. Maybe.

HE IS RISEN!!!

Mark 16:1-8

When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.” So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.

Mark is a most puzzling Gospel and the end is no different. The women go tot he tomb to find it empty. Theya re told to go tell the disciples and Peter (whose last words in this Gospel account are his denial of Christ) that "he is going ahead of you..." Christ always goes ahead of us. Endures the road that we walk before we even get there. He knows where the potholes and obstacles are. The women were in shock and said nothing. This is the day that we celebrate in terror and amazement that our Lord has indeed risen and He goes ahead of us. Alleluia! Amen!

An Old Farmer's Advice:

Some are better than others....

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. AMEN TO THIS!!!!

Maundy Thursday

John 13:1-17, 31b-35
1Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him. And during supper 3Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, 4got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. 5Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. 6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" 7Jesus answered, "You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand." 8Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no share with me." 9Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!" 10Jesus said to him, "One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet, but is entirely clean. And you are clean, though not all of you." 11For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, "Not all of you are clean."

12After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? 13You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. 14So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 16Very truly, I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. 17If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.

31When he had gone out, Jesus said, "Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. 32If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once. 33Little children, I am with you only a little longer. You will look for me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, 'Where I am going, you cannot come.' 34I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. 35By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

May we all pause and remember the selfless act of Christ as he washed the feet of the disciples. We have all been called to serve and to love one another.

Election Results are In

And...Josh Gahr is the new Student Body President. Congrats to Josh. Thank you to fellow students who voted and supported me. I plan to run to be on the Worship Committee (where I currently serve). Oh well. Best of luck to Josh in his year in office and good luck to all those running for Student Senate and for committees.

Holy Week Begins

John 12:1-8

Mary Anoints Jesus Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ‘Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?’ (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, ‘Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.’

golf and a day off

Yesterday was spent doing nothing, that's right, nothing. After several days of pure insanity trying to get things done, I did nothing...productive. I spent the day playing golf with Carter and Kelly, hanging out over good brisket, and watching a movie. Golf on a gorgeous day like Saturday is 4 hours (or longer) of pure paridise. The course was packed, so the play was slow. Very relaxing. Then iet was off to the Brundeen's for food and fellowship. It was nice to chat with friends and see all the relatively new babies who aren't so new anymore.

Then I came back and watched "Brokeback Mountain" with some friends in the dorm. That was a rather odd movie, and I am still not quite sure what to think about it. Then just some hanging out. There is so much left to be done for the semester, but I most definitely needed a day off. Another busy week lies ahead, more papers due, more to read (there is always more to read), and less and less time for sleep. Not many weeks left in the semester, this is the downhill race to the end. Big fun! But at least for one day, there was nothing to do.

Theology has taken over my brain....

Okay, I am the theology nerd! I spent the better part of the day struggling with Jurgen Moltmann. We are reading "The Way of Christ" and I am presenting part of it with a fellow classmate. At one point today, I was overwhelmed by so much clutter of life, I honestly didn't know where to start. I get the chapter on Apocolyptic Suffering. So, I went to see the Professor. Dr. Cynthia Rigby, who I truly think could walk on water.

We set a time later this afternoon to meet. I went back to struggling through the chapter for the millionth time, went to choir rehearsal, then back to laboring over the chapter. As I took notes on what I had previously underlined in the book, Trinity stuck out of the text, I found it really odd that it kept coming up as this is a book on Christology. Well, lo and behold, when I met with Cindy and talked about the opening sentences of the chapter which put the cross at the heart of the passion story, which is at the heart of Christology, which is at the heart of Christianity...The Cross then stands in the center of the Trinity as the Trinity is the perichoritic nature of the 3 in 1 that is the Eternal Godhead. The cross is representative of the self giving love not only of Christ, but of the Father and the Holy Spirit as well. Christ suffered on the cross, the Father and the Spirit suffered as well. These were the sufferings not of the particular man of Jesus Christ, but the sufferings of all of creation as well, they are apocolyptic. It was like a light bulb came on. Now I am still not done unpacking the whole chapter, but at least got started. Cindy helped me in finding the path that I need to pursue and helped me see that I did actually understand this stuff.

The overwhelming task of the semester caught up with me and stress has taken over my brain. Cindy suggested golf or a movie. So heeding the advice of a trusted professor, I headed to the movie with Jensen and Papps, 2 of the Ryans. We went to V for Vendetta. Very theological movie. Purifying through fire, baptism, Christ within all people, dying to self, saving your life by losing it...we had a theological chat afterward. Nuts that you can go to movies and find theological themes in them because that is now the pattern that your brain takes on. YIKES!!!

On another note, the run-off election started today between me and Josh Gahr. We had to give 2 minute speeches. My platformless campaign changed to Academics + 2. Study, that is why we are here plus a way to feed yourself spiritually and a way to engage with the community through service and/or fellowship. We'll see what happens.

Peace,

RUN OFF!!!

Well, as expected with 5 candidates for President, there is a run off election starting tomorrow. It is me and someone else, I know not who. My campaign is still kinda the non-campaign. Vote for me if you want, or don't, whatever. I am still not overly sure what to think about this whole Presidential campaign thing. Another week of waiting,

Retreat!!!!!

Just came back from a weekend spiritual retreat..it was much needed. One of the things we did is read an article on Temptation by Henri Nouwen. It is based in the temptations of Christ in the wilderness. It discusses the temptation to be relevant, to be spectacular, and to be powerful. What I took away from this is that none of these 3 temptations are in and of themselves evil, it is our motives behind them that make them so. If my drive to be relevant is based on wanting appreciation from people, then it is not done in the right spirit. If I desire to be spectacular, it is about my glory. If I seek power, it is about me lording over someone else.

Nouwen talks about the "downward way."
"Just as we came to see God in the downward way of Christ, so we will become truly sons and daughters of God by becoming participants in this downward way, the way of the cross."

When we do not seek to be relevant, spectacular or powerful except in and through Christ then we truly are living for God. This is how we become counter-cultural. We do not seek the praise and glory of this world, but of God alone.


The downward way, the way of the cross, struck me this morning as we were closing with worship in the outdoor chapel at John Knox Ranch On the left side of the chapel, toward the front there is a stairway that then leads to a rocky path down to the road below.

The first few steps are wooden and not that difficult to traverse. Then the path is steep and rocky. There are logs in place as steps, but it is a difficult trek. The path then leads out of the trees and into a clearing. There in the sunlight is a road. Our downward way is like this too. The first steps are easier. There are habits and parts of ourselves that we can give up for Christ without too much trouble, but then the path becomes rockier and more difficult. Once we have traversed the path, the ground becomes level as we approach the foot of the cross. There, in the light, we walk the road which is not always smooth itself. We walk, like Jesus, on the road with fellow travelers, we meet people where they are.

For Good

This is a song from the musical "Wicked." This is a duet between Glinda the good witch and Elphaba who we know as the Wicked Witch of the West. The composer Stephen Schwarz asked his daughter what she would say to her best friend if she knew she wouldn't see her again. I absolutely love this song. And the lyrics are so true. I left many friends in Norman, OK who changed me for good and I have made many more friends here who have changed me too. I love the line that we are led to those who help us most to grow...if we let them.

To all those who have helped me to grow and who have left their handprint on my heart. I love ya!

I'VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT
AS IT PASSES A SUN

LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD …

IT WELL MAY BE
THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY FRIEND...

LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING
BY A WIND OFF THE SEA
LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD
IN A DISTANT WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD...

AND JUST TO CLEAR THE AIR
I ASK FORGIVENESS
FOR THE THINGS I'VE DONE YOU BLAME ME FOR
BUT THEN, I GUESS WE KNOW
THERE'S BLAME TO SHARE

AND NONE OF IT SEEMS TO MATTER ANYMORE

WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER

AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.

The Race Begins...

Well, I am now officially a candidate for Student Body President along with 4 others. Each of us brings something a little different to the table, but I truly believe that any one of us would be wonderful in the office. I am glad that my felllow students have to tough choice to make. In the end I decided that the worst thing that could happen is that I don't win and I run to be on the Worship Committee again (which I have truly enjoyed).

There are 6 weeks left of school. Due dates begin to loom ever larger so I am trying to get started on a few projects now. This is always a busy time of year and it is about to get more so. So I guess it is back to reading for now.

OUCH!

After playing softball and a round of gold, I am a bit, okay more than a bit, sore. It has been a while since I was this sore. Have to work on that one.

An incredible Song

Thanks to Paul Burns for introducing me to this song. What a concept. Broken and spilled out. Isn't that how we should be? Isn't that exactly what Jesus did for us? I need to meditate on this song more. Here are the lyrics. More later.

One day a plain village woman
Driven by love for her Lord
Recklessly poured out a valuable essence
Disregarding the scorn
And once it was broken and spilled out
A fragrance filled all the room
Like a prisoner released from his shackles
Like a spirit set free from the tomb

Broken and spilled out
Just for love of you, Jesus
My most precious treasure
Lavished on thee
Broken and spilled out
And poured at your feet
In sweet abandon
Let me be spilled out
And used up for Thee

Lord you were God's precious treasure
His loved and his own perfect Son
Sent here to show me the love of the Father
Just for love it was done
And though you were perfect and holy
You gave up yourself willingly
You spared no expense for my pardon
You were used up and wasted for me

Broken and spilled out
Just for love of me Jesus
God's most precious treasure
Lavished on me
Broken and spilled out
And poured at my feet
In sweet abandon
Lord you were spilled out
And used up for me

More Blog Things

Thank Ryan!!!! More sillyness!

You Are The Empress

You represent the ideal female figure: beauty and nurturing. You bring security and harmony to many. At times, you are also a very sensual person. You are characterized by love, pleasure, and desire. Your fortune: You need to take some time to think about the role of commitment in your life. It's possible you need to commit more to others, or deal with how others have treated you. It is very important for you to support your friends and family right now, difficult as it may be. You may need to look at your relationship with your mother, or your relationships as a mother.

What Tarot Card Are You?

What do you know....this is my favorite drink

You Are a Margarita

You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party! You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

A tribute to my favorite TV show

You Are Ned Flanders

A good neighbor and a devout Christian, you are a community leader. And you are called to make the world a better place, especially for left handed people. You will be remembered for: your goofy expressions - "hi-dilly, ho-dilly!" Your life philosophy: "I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!"

The Simpsons Personality Test

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

Last one....

Your IQ Is 135

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Genius

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Running for President and other miscellany

Today, I accepted the nomination for Student Body President. I am running against Chris and Michael, 2 very intelligent, caring, positive, great guys who are my fellow classmates and who I look forward to being colleagues in ministry with in the near future. Nominations close next Wednesday and then everyone votes. Several friends had asked me about running, and I am sure each of them had their own reasons for asking me about running. I have spent time in prayer over it, but I don't know as I can put a finger on exactly why I am running for this office. It just feels like the right thing to do.

This week has been the "Women of the Cloth" conference on campus to celebrate 50 years of women in ministry. It has been nice to see women from my presbytery, including my committee chair and another committee member. I have also been able to reconnect with a couple pastors who I spent time with in OKC in October for ords grading, as well as meeting many new female clergy. I have once again had a role on the periphery with technology.

Having been around the women of my presbytery and women I have spent time with during the ords grading, I have been extremely affirmed not only in my call, but in gifts that I bring to ministry. The women of my presbytery want me to come back there when I graduate, but another wants me in her presbytery when I graduate. It is nice to be wanted, especially when it has nothing to do with where I stand on any political issues within the church. It is all about who they have come to know me to be.
Very cool!!!!

So in the upcoming weeks...will it be Hail to the Chief? Have to wait and see.

The 36% Evil Curler

Was reading blogs this morning and was redirected to Blogthings http://www.blogthings.com and took a couple of quizes this morning.

What Winter Sport are you? Curling...no wonder I like it so much :)

You Are Curling

What you lack in athleticism, you make up for in concentration. And while curling isn't much more of a sport than bowling, you *can* win a gold medal for it!

What Winter Sport Are You?

How Evil are You? Took this in honor of my favorite "333 I'm only half evil" shirt.

You Are 36% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Road Trippin for Spring Break

Just got back from Norman. Went home to visit the family and get out of Austin for a bit. Most of the time was spent playing with my nephews (Josh -8 and Jayson 2), including going bowling and going to the zoo. I also got to see some good friends. It was very affirming to see friends and to have them tell me what gifts they see in me.

It was great to get away from studying for a few days, but now it is time to get started and try to work ahead. This semester is gonna get nutty!!!

Later

I am a Candidate now

Well as of last Friday afternoon I have been moved to the next phase in the ecclesiastical process, to candidacy. It involved standing in front of Presbytery telling my call story and answering questions related to it. It was a very affirming process and I am one notch further along.

I was reading a draft proposal from the New Wineskins Initiative about pastors. They are not going to require pastors to have an MDiv, which I think is a huge mistake. They are looking for practical training, an apprentice sort of role and some basic classes (that you can probably take at most major universities through the religious studies departments), but I think that is a bad idea!!!

Presbyterians have valued educated clergy. There is reason to learn the original language, the text becomes much richer and more intriguing in the original language. Our English interpretations often cannot do the original language justice in meaning. I see this as an attempt to stifle the Word. It reminds me of those who truly believe the words printed in red are precisely what Jesus said.

That being said, off to translate Greek!

Nothing like a little golf

In light of my struggles, I declared a Sabbath today. Went and hit a bucket of golf balls on the range for an hour. Came up with the "theology" of golf. Had a chance to think through some things and take out a lot of stress on little white round things. Then played at the local pitch and putt with my friend Steve. Low key day, time to sort things out.

I need to play golf more often I think.

Presbytery is Friday. Standing to become a candidate.

Still struggling

I find myself still struggling. I am restless and don't know which way to go or what to do. This is partially about losing control. I hate not being in control. I have to let go, I have to embrace silence and allow God to speak to me and work through me. The struggle continues.

One of those days

Okay, really it has been one of those weeks. I find myself not wanting to be in big groups of people or be overly social. I find myself struggling with myself. Part of it is I am being waaaay too serious and need to lighten up, not take school, life or myself quite so seriously.

In trying to keep up with reading for 6 classes when I have never read everything in a normal semester has kinda burned me out. I am fighting myself to stay focused and keep working. I am at a point of wanting to be overwhelmed and let go, but there is part of me that won't let me do it (fortuanately).

Well, back to doing some studying for a test tomorrow. For my sake, I have lots of classmates not wanting to do a whole lot right now either.

I hate phases like this.

I hate when classes mess with my head

And even worse than messing with my head is when they mess with my heart and with my spiritual journey. Yep, it has happened. Reading Augustine and Bernard of Clairvaux and picking the theme to look for of humility (My friend Steve joking said in class that it was a good topic for me....at least I think he was joking), has messed with me for the last few days.

I once had a friend tell me that I was the most selfless person she had ever met. I worked as a counselor for a camp where the motto was "God First, Others Second, I'm Third." Yet I read these mystic writers and I look at my life. Hove I searched my inward being for the "me" that is in the heart of God? have I let go of the external things that hold me back from loving God? Do I love my neighbors as well as God, or am I a liar? Is the face I show to the world the real me or just an act? Have I emptied myself, that I might be filled by God?

I can have no answers to the questions that plague my mind, my heart, and my soul. I feel like I am trapped in thick mud, only to be pulled in deeper as I struggle. I feel lost. I don't know which way is the way out. Right now, I don't want to struggle, I want to shut down. I want to not care about anyone or anything, I want to not be responsible. I want to be out of the lead, or at least feel like it.

Then I remember "The Hole in the Water"
Sometime, when you're feeling important!
Sometime, when your ego's in bloom;
Sometime, when you take it for granted
You're the best qualified in the room;

Sometime, when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it, up to the wrist;
Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how you'll be missed.

You may splash all you please when you enter,
You can stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you'll find in a minute
That it looks quite the same as before.

The morale in this quaint example,
Is do just the best that you can;
And be proud of yourself, but remember
There's no indispensable man.
-Anonymous

God sends no one away except those who are ful of themselves....

Dude, I think I need a bucket of water and need to pray that God does not send me away.

Got a Paper Back

I got a paper back from a professor a few days ago and it is causing me to rethink a little about myself. I felt really good about the paper when I turned it in, thought it hung together well and I knew I had worked hard on it. Well, so did the professor. The problem is, that I have never considered myself to be a particularly good writer. I took a chance on the paper, I did it a little differently than what the assignment was written up (talked to the prof first), but it was a paper that I felt very vested in.

I wrote it as a chapter in a book or part of a Sunday school class. I think I am more freaked out by the fact that I did what I set out to do and the professor, who I have the utmost respect and admiration for, thought it was well written. Guess I'll have to rethink my opinion of myself.