Fellow Followers of the Way:
“What do you do when you’re not sure?” This is the opening line of Father Flynn’s sermon in the play and the new movie Doubt. I know several members of Westminster have seen the play or the movie, but for those who haven’t, here is the synopsis from the Internet Movie Database.
It's 1964, St. Nicholas in the Bronx. A charismatic priest, Father Flynn, is trying to upend the schools' strict customs, which have long been fiercely guarded by Sister Aloysius Beauvier, the iron-gloved Principal who believes in the power of fear and discipline. The winds of political change are sweeping through the community, and indeed, the school has just accepted its first black student, Donald Miller. But when Sister James, a hopeful innocent, shares with Sister Aloysius her guilt-inducing suspicion that Father Flynn is paying too much personal attention to Donald, Sister Aloysius sets off on a personal crusade to unearth the truth and to expunge Flynn from the school. Now, without a shard of proof besides her moral certainty, Sister Aloysius locks into a battle of wills with Father Flynn which threatens to tear apart the community with irrevocable consequence. Written by Miramax Films
One of the things that I pondered after seeing the movie was how certainty and doubt play a role in the lives of Christians. In the movie, Sister Aloysius acts on her moral certainty. Christians like this scare me. I am reminded of a lesson learned in school that there are very few occasions when the terms always and never apply. The world is not so black and white that things can be categorized as “always this way” or “never like that” People who think this way quite honestly scare me. If we get into this certainty of thought, we are always right and we never give new ideas a chance.
However, doubt is a scary thing too. It is hard to predict what the future holds and whether we should meet the future with anxiety or excitement or both. Doubt can paralyze us into inactivity or it can cause us to turn a blind eye to those things we need to correct. How do we live in the murky middle? How do we live between certainty and doubt? How do we let our fear keep from getting the better of us?
The theme for the Mid Winter Youth conference was “Need a Power Outlet? Plug into Jesus!” It was based on Romans 12:1-8. We talked about not conforming to the world, but to be transformed and to live into what we are each called to be. When we live in doubt, our tendency is to conform, we become afraid of standing out.
One of the small group activities during the weekend was a guided meditation. In that meditation you are guided into a room full of weights. The weights are of various sizes and each one is labeled with a burden or problem. Jesus is next to you and asks you to hand the weights over to him. As you hand a weight to Jesus, he takes the burden and gives you a feather light coin with the same problem on it.
One of the points to this is to realize that Jesus takes the burden of our fears and doubts, but it doesn’t mean that we are rid of them. They are still ours, but the burden has been taken away. We can go to God in prayer, we can release our doubts; the reality of our situation remains, but we can be freed from fear. We become like the father in Mark 9:24 who cries out “I believe, help me now my unbelief!” When we put our faith in Christ, it doesn’t mean all our problems go away, but we are freed from the burden of them.
Certainty and doubt, 2 states that can lead to fear and can paralyze us. It has long been a part of the Christian faith. There are many hymns that speak to doubt. This is the last verse of the Hymn of Promise by Natalie Sleeth. It is in Sing the Faith.
In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
I am reminded that belief comes from doubt and that what lies ahead can only be seen by God. If we are so dogmatic in our belief, we leave no room for God to work within us. By the same token if we dwell in doubt, we are afraid to do anything. So “what do you do when you’re unsure?” The Christian response needs to be turning to God, turning to faith and letting God work in and through us to transform us. May we all put our trust in God, knowing the God alone can see what lies ahead for each of us. May we all find belief even amidst our doubt.
Grace, mercy and peace,
Karen
