What's Your Image of God?

This was a question posed to me by my CPE supervisor. She challenged me to look beyond the typical answers that I gave. She gave me "Maestro" or "quartet leader." The quartet leader image has caught my attention. Just as a quartet needs a leader, there is also an element of every one being vital to the functioning of the quartet.

Where I went with it is I become the 4th member of the quartet, the members of the Trinity being the other 3. Just as the Trinity can be thought of as engaging in a divine dance, why not in musical terms. By being brought into the quartet, I, in my totally depraved humanity, am brought into the life of the Godhead and I have agency. My part is important to the whole. In this it does not take away from the importance of any of the other 3 parts at the same time. I am still playing with this image, but I challenge everyone to take a look at their image of God.

Peace

Dealing with Death

I ended up on a crisis call today and worked a death at the hospital. It is strange how someone can be alive one second and dead the next. Reminded me of a M*A*S*H episode where Major Hoolihan remarks how it never ceases to amaze her that you are alive one minute and dead the next, no fanfare or anything. Just gone.

There are so many things that happen in the hospital after a death, that was more where I was uncomfortable than with the family although, I did have to confront my theological view of death as well as heaven and hell. One of the family members asked if I thought their mother went to heaven even if she didn't believe. As I have continued to ponder this, I end up looking to the invisible church and the fact that we don't know who is elect and who is not. I have to believe that God's love is bigger than I can even fathom and I have to hold hope that God leaves the 99 and looks for the 1, whether we want to be found or not.

Lots to process.
Peace

A few weeks in...

CPE is a tiring thing. I have found it emotionally and spiritually draining. It will be good for me to learn to set up emotional boundaries. I am struggling in part because this is new and I am still trying to learn the basics. I have much to learn, but it will not make for an easy summer.

CPE Day 2

Today was a better day. We had a more specific orientation to what we are doing as well as a chance to tour the hospital with one of the staff chaplains and a tour of pre-op with another chaplain. After lunch, they printed off the rooms of people who needed initial visits (Baptist has chaplains try and visit everyone) and we were each given part of the lists and off we went. The first few cold calls I did weren't very good, I was way nervous and anxious. The visits got better as I did more of them. That is more what I will be doing for the summer.

CPE has begun

Today I started my 11 weeks as an intern hospital chaplain at Baptist Integris in Oklahoma City. CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) is an intense 11 week time period in hospital and crisis ministry. We start door to door cold visits tomorrow (day 2) and continue with orientation and beginning to work on learning goals for the summer. This will be a time of growth and introspection as I discover more about who I am and continue to live into who I am as a pastor.

Growth is often a painful process and I became aware that I have once again entered the wilderness. It'll will be a bumpy ride.

I'm going to have to change the name of my blog...

Now that I am a seminary graduate, I am going to have to come up with a new blog name. Baccalaureate was fun since I got to play trombone alongside my dad. It was special for him too. Graduation day there are several monetary awards that are given out during the proceedings, but alas, I did not receive one. I did however receive a gift from 3 of the professors. They decided that for all of the "stuff" that I did around the seminary and was involved in that I deserved the "MVP" award. So I received a hat with MVP on it, Dr. Suess's "Oh the Place you'll go" along with a Dr. Suess type poem in the front of it, Godiva chocolate, Mozart CD's, Indigo Girls CD, pen, magnet, bookmark, all in a beautiful bowl. To get a gift like that from 3 professors who I respect very much means more than any monetary award. Very cool.

I am back in Oklahoma with a few days off before starting a clinical rotation as a hospital chaplain (CPE). It will be an interesting summer living at home. It was really hard to leave Austin, and especially to leave all the people who have become my family over the last 3 years. So I am home at least until August, and still in the process of searching for a call. I have had some conversations with a couple of churches and now we play the waiting game.

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doot, doo, doo, doo, doo,doo

That is the Jeopardy theme incase you didn't recognize it!

It's almost official

Picked up my graduation regalia this morning. All that is left is to be approved by the faculty.
It is weird to think that I am about to graduate. I'm not sure where the time went.
Exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

Now to keep packing.

Bright Sunday Sermon - "Keeping Up Appearances"

This is the sermon that I preached yesterday at Westminster Presbyterian in Austin, TX. This is the congregation where I have been interning all school year. I have learned a lot working with this congregation and they have helped me to grow.

Here we are the week after Easter. Back to normal, no brass filling the sanctuary, the lilies are gone. We celebrate Christ being risen from the dead, but wasn’t that last week? So now we can go back to normal. Or can we? It is easy to think of Easter as a single day, after all anything Easter related is up to 75% off at most stores now, but Easter is bigger than that. We have entered Eastertide, the “Great Fifty Days” as we move toward Pentecost. This is a season of the church year for continued celebration and to explore what it means for us to live as resurrection people. The gospel of John provides the experiences of several Bible figures who we have come to know well, Mary, the disciples, and Thomas.

We start on that first Easter day. Three days removed from the crucifixion of Jesus. Mary, the disciples, and Thomas are all struggling with grief, fear, and doubt. We enter the story with Mary. She has gone to the tomb and finds the stone rolled away. Scared, she runs back to find Peter, who with the beloved disciple, return to the tomb with her. They find the tomb empty. Then the men leave. They leave Mary, standing in front of the empty tomb. They leave Mary standing at the empty tomb weeping.

The stress of the last 8 days overwhelms her. A week ago she was with the crowd as they entered Jerusalem shouting “Hosanna.” Little did she know that by the end of the week she would see Jesus arrested and crucified. A wave of grief sweeps over her. This man was her teacher, her Lord. She had followed him for many months. A few days ago she had lavished pure nard on his feet and wiped it away with her hair. She could still smell the scent in her hair. All she wanted to do now was care for his body. Finding the tomb empty, she is hit by a flood of emotion. She is drained physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She is tired. She is scared. It feels like a nightmare, but she can’t wake up. All she can do is cry.

She peers into the empty tomb to see two angels in white who ask “Woman, why are you weeping?” Through her tears she stammers that she is looking for Jesus. She can no longer bear to look into the tomb. She turns, her head down, still sobbing. She notices someone standing there. He repeats the question of the angels “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She does not recognize the man. She is consumed with her grief and exhaustion. She responds to him thinking he is the gardener.

While Mary is weeping at the tomb, the disciples are hidden away behind locked doors.
They like Mary are trying to process everything that has happened in the last few days. They are afraid of being persecuted if they are identified a followers of Jesus. Their teacher is gone, what are they to do now? They sit in silence; they are spent. They are afraid. Fear permeates the room, it has paralyzed them. Then Jesus appears to them. He stands in their midst, they can’t believe their eyes. Jesus speaks, “Peace be with you,” but they have yet to recognize their Lord.

Later in the day we meet Thomas. He was not with the others but has heard their story.
He is skeptical of what they have told him. Thomas looks at them as if to say, “Yeah right, whatever!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” Thomas is not one to be easily swayed. He needs proof.

When Mary, the disciples, and Thomas first meet the Risen Christ, none of them recognize him. Mary is consumed by her grief. The disciples are paralyzed with their fear. Thomas is filled with doubt. They cannot recognize Jesus on their own, they need Jesus to meet them where they are. Christ comes to each in a different way, but it is exactly what they each need in order to have faith.

For Mary, Jesus calls her by name. This is the moment when Mary encounters the Risen Christ. She hears her name, “Mary.” It is the voice that speaks it. She has heard this voice call her name so many times before. Soft and tender. Full of compassion and love. His voice finds its way through the tears, through the fatigue. It reaches the very core of her being and draws her back. Like a parent’s voice that breaks through the screams of a child’s nightmare drawing them out of their fear, finds its way through the tears. In calling her name, Jesus breaks through her nightmare of the last few days and she recognizes him. Because Jesus has met her and drawn her out of her grief, her spirits are lifted and she is able to set off to tell the others.

For the disciples hidden in fear, Jesus greets them twice with the words, “Peace be with you.” The second time he adds, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” Then Jesus breathes on them and tells them to receive the Holy Spirit. Just as God breathed life into Adam in Genesis, Jesus breathes new life into the disciples. The peace of Christ dispels their fear. Jesus sends them out into the world to offer the forgiveness of sins to the world. They are excited because they have just met the risen Christ. It is in their excitement, not fear that they talk to Thomas about their experience.

Thomas is doubtful of the story and wants physical proof. The next week the disciples are again meeting, but this time the doors aren’t locked, just shut, and Jesus comes and stands among them. He greets them with Peace again. Turning to Thomas, Jesus is relaxed and at ease.

He is not angry with Thomas, Thomas is just being Thomas. Jesus smiles, he knows Thomas well. Because he knows Thomas and he loves Thomas, Jesus says “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” We don’t know if Thomas touches him or not. But we do know Thomas’ response. “My Lord and My God!” Thomas is a believer.

In these stories, all of them believe in the end, when they have met the Risen Christ. Jesus meets Mary in her grief by calling her name; meets the disciples with the gift of peace and the Holy Spirit; meets Thomas with a physical presence. Jesus meets them where they are. He meets them as they have need. But these aren’t the only people who have met the Risen Christ.
Christ meets us where we are and gives us what we need for faith. The author of the gospel of John states that these stories are written down that others might believe. Scripture is one way that we are enabled to encounter Jesus. When we read about Mary, the disciples and Thomas, we can see ourselves in their stories as well. We have all known sorrow, fear, and doubt. Scripture is a reminder to us that Jesus meets us too.

While teaching the 2nd and 3rd graders a few weeks ago, we were walking through the timeline from Palm Sunday through the appearance stories. I asked the children as we read the Thomas story, if they would have believed the disciples even when Thomas didn’t. One of the girls said “Yes, but we know the story!” Her response struck me. She is right. We do know the story. We have been given Scripture that we might experience Christ that we might believe in the resurrection.

However Scripture is not the only way the appearance of Christ continues. Just as the disciples were sent we are sent too. We as fellow believers, as the church, are called to keep up the appearance of the risen Christ. We are called to reach out to people by name. People hurt. They grieve. We as church are called to speak their name. To remind them that they are beloved children of God. We do this every time we speak names of people we love and care about in intercessory prayer. We do this when we send cards and notes or call those who cannot be physically present with us. When we sit with someone in the hospital. It is amazing what being called by name can do. When we call them by name, they are remembered into the body of Christ. We keep up the appearance of our resurrected Savior.

We as a church are also called to bring the peace of Christ. In the midst of community, just as the disciples were gathered in community, we pass the “peace of Christ.” Think about the words of the liturgy. The peace of Christ be with you. And also with you. As we have been reconciled to God through our confession of sin and reminded of our forgiveness in Christ and assured of our pardon, we then share the peace that Christ brought to the disciples to one another. We are gathered together, reunited as the body of Christ. We keep up the appearance of our resurrected Savior.

We all have times of doubt; we have moments when we are Thomas. We need a physical presence. We need to be met individually. Seeing another who has struggled with faith, yet we can see the depth of their conviction. Watching one another live out their faith. We are the physical presence when we reach out to others in mission. I thought about this as storms rolled through Friday night. Northern Texas was hit hard, we are the physical presence with one anther in the midst of situations like the storm Friday night. We are physical proof to one another when we cry together, laugh with one another, and celebrate as the family of God. We are strengthened by the faith of others, we see Christ shining through them. They embody Christ for us. We keep up the appearance of our resurrected Savior.

These stories are given to us that we might have faith, that we would believe Jesus to be the Son of God and that we may have life in his name. We read the stories of the first Easter day and the week that followed, Jesus has met his followers in a variety of ways. He has given them what they need for them to believe. Christ still meets us today. Meets us through Scripture and through others that we too will have faith. As the Risen Christ lives within us, may we, the beloved children of God, be gathered as the body of Christ in our worship, so that as we go forth into the world we can embody the Risen Christ and keep up the appearance of our Risen Savior. Christ is risen. He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

Easter Peeps

Easter peeps, I think are perhaps the most disgusting thing ever created! Found out a friend of mine likes them. Also found out that you can do peep jousting in the microwave. Have found a zillion peep links on the internet, some of which are quite funny. So being a senior and needing a creative outlet, I have begun working on a movie/documentary about peeps. Well, more of a creative diversion. I have discovered that peep jokes are endless.

They like to play "hide and go peep"

They like the village peeple. One of their favorite songs is "Peeple."
If you were to eat a purple one, you would be a purple peeple eater.
They just keep getting worse.

Being me is enough

Senioritis has struck as the end of my seminary journey draws near. My PIF (pastor information form...aka resume) was released by my presbytery and is now out in the wild. This means I can begin sending my PIF to churches I am interested in and the national office will begin matching me with prospective churches and the call process begins.

It is interesting to read what churches write about themselves and about what they are looking for in the pastor they seek to call. A deep and abiding love of Christ (probably a good thing for a pastor), communication skills, and a sense of humor. These seem to be pretty common, but what is striking about so many of the positions is it seems that churches are looking for someone to be everything to everybody.

In recent weeks I have had the revelation that being me is enough. My problem is I don't think I believe that all the time. Being me is all I can do. I need to remember this as I proceed into ministry. I can only be me, and being me is enough. I am the only me there is. I think this has been a cause of my stress lately.

I need to listen to the folks at WPC more. I have only been there since August and several have said they are sad to see me go in a month or so. It meant a lot to have a couple youth moms comment that they wished I could stay another year and one said her son really liked me. Another parent commented Sunday that her 8th grader had said she liked that I had enthusiasm and she could tell I really believed what I was saying. It has meant a great deal to have feedback from the congregation that includes comments that some church will be blessed to get me. Others believe it about me...now why don't I believe it?

Palm Sunday

Today we remember the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. The crowds shouting "Hosanna!" When the Pharisees tell Jesus to quiet the crowds he states that the stones themselves would shout. This is the same crowd who later this week will shout "Crucify Him!"

Great Cartoon

I love the site Reverend Fun. This was up a couple days ago. My question is what is the perfect sermon?

Playing in the Rain

Today was SMURF-TACULAR!!!! Yep, I am bringing smurf language back, just because. It was a rainy day in Austin, TX and I love rainy days! Playing in puddles is a favorite past-time. So after class, it was back to the room to change clothes and shoes and back out into the rain to play in the rain.

One of my good friends came out and played in the puddles too. We were soggy. Several of our classmates thought we were really crazy. Sherry snapped the picture from her dorm room. My advice to everyone is "don't get too old to play."
My other piece of advice is watch out who is around you when you splash in puddles, so you don't get someone wet who didn't want to play. Although one time I did get a couple people a little wet, but they were good sports and didn't get mad at me.

Senior thoughts

Okay, being a senior isn't all it is cracked up to be. Trying to get a PIF (like a resume) done and online, looking at churches, seeking a call, dealing with moving and graduation stuff, and trying to remember to be a student when senioritis has a firm grip on you. Crazy! Had a nice but very brief visit home last week during my spring break. 8 weeks left of school and a bunch of stuff to do. It is the downhill race! Peace.

A Sermon for Lent

A whole 5 days after preaching my senior sermon, I had the priviledge of preaching at Westminster Presbyterian where I am the seminary intern. Wednesday night service, totally different text. This one is on Luke 4:1-13, Jesus' temptation in the WIlderness.

Tests. We encounter them in all forms. As a student there are standardized tests and tests created over specific knowledge. Outside of school we test people’s patience, we are put to the test, and we test the waters. But there is something that happens with any test, trial, experiment or examination. We go into a test one way and we come out differently on the other side. Tests are a way of discovering what we are capable of, what is possible, of what is important.
In our text we find Jesus, having just been baptized, being led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness where he faces 3 tests at the hands of the devil. It is important to note the wilderness experience begins with the Holy Spirit’s leading. Jesus didn’t just go but was led. These were tests, a time that he was guided into. We too are sometimes led into the wilderness, into times of spiritual testing.
When we find ourselves in the wilderness, we usually think of it as a time when we are spiritually dry, hence the wilderness. In the wilderness we may feel abandoned, that we have been left to struggle on our own. We may feel that our prayers go unanswered. We may feel there is no hope. When I think about wilderness times I have encountered, they are times I have felt spiritually isolated, hungry and thirsty.
We read that at the end of 40 days in the wilderness, Jesus was hungry. This is when the devil jumps in with the temptations. The devil tells Jesus to turn a stone into bread, he almost dares him to do it. Can’t you just see it? The devil, not the half goat, half man with horns and a pitchfork, but the slick, well- polished, designer suit and silk tie variety.
“Hey Jesus. You look hungry. Why torture yourself. You’re the son of God, tell the stone to become bread.” Jesus doesn’t go for it, so the devil tries to deal a bit. So he takes him to a high place so they could look out over the land. This time the devil says he will cut a deal. “you can have power over all that you can see if you will do one thing. I am the one who can give you all of this. All you have to do is worship me.” Again, Jesus turns him down citing the Scriptures.
The devil is finding this to be a hard sell. So he tries one last time. But this time the devil uses Scripture to make his pitch. At the high point of the temple in Jerusalem he says, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down for it is written: ‘For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’” Even though the devil quotes Psalm 91, Jesus again refutes him using Scripture. After having no luck, the devil departs, “until an opportune time,” doing his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation “I’ll be back.”
The 3 temptations represent 3 areas where we are often challenged as well. The first is to provide for yourself. It is not wrong to want food, it is not evil to provide sustenance. But if Jesus provides for himself at this point, he does not rely on God. The 2nd temptation is about power, and to whom you are loyal. Again earthly power isn’t in and of itself wrong or evil, but to trust in human power, to be loyal to earthly things is to put something else before God. The 3rd temptation is about making demands of God. To go to God with prayer is what we are to do, but it is the motive behind the action that makes the difference. We are urged to pray without ceasing and to take everything to the Lord in prayer, but these are not to be petitions that put God to the test. As Jesus refutes the devil, he quotes another wilderness adventure found in Deuteronomy, the exodus of the Israelites.
The 3 quotes are significant because they not only link Jesus to the heritage of Israel , but they reference areas where the Israelites lacked faith. The first temptation, to provide bread, is refuted using Deuteronomy 8:3, “It has been written that man shall not live by bread alone.” Matthew’s account goes further, “but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” At this point in the exodus story, the Israelites have been reminded that being hungered humbled them, but the Lord did provide for them and gave them manna. God’s is faithful in all things and will provide for all our needs. In this day and age, who do we trust for our needs? Ourselves or God?
The second temptation brings a response from the 10 commandments as Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 6:13. “You will worship the LORD you God whom alone you will serve.” Jesus refuses to bow and serve the devil unlike the Israelites who fashioned a golden calf for themselves. It is easy to get pulled into the power of the world, but what or whom do we worship and serve? Another or God?
The devil quotes, or rather mis-quotes Scripture for the third temptation. In reading all of Psalm 91, it is about the protection of God for the righteous. It speaks of God as refuge and fortress, as the one who delivers and protects. But this protection is not meant for foolishness. God’s protection is for the faithful. “When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them (v 15).” Jesus refutes this trial with Deuteronomy 6:16 “Do not put the LORD your God to the test as you did as Massah.” This reference is to the story in Exodus 17 when the Israelites were complaining to Moses about not having water. They were thirsty. God responded by telling Moses to strike the rock with his staff and when Moses did as God commanded, water sprang forth. Once again, God provides, but God is not to be foolishly tested.
The temptations may link Jesus to the wilderness experience of the Israelites, but it also proves that he is the Son of God. as he remains faithful to God throughout these tests. For Christ to be fully human, to truly enter into our human condition, it was crucial that he suffer as the Israelites did, as we do. As we read in Hebrews 4
Since, then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin.
We, like the Israelites sometimes struggle to remain faithful and obedient. We are more inclined to be more reliant on ourselves, to look at being successful rather than faithful, and to look to worldly rules and compromise on faith . However, we are given Christ as our model for faithfulness.
The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years. Jesus was tested in the wilderness for forty days. We too have entered the wilderness or at least a time to remember the wilderness. We started our 40 days a couple weeks ago at Ash Wednesday with the reminder that we are dust and to dust we shall return. Dust that was once lush green palm branches has become dry and ashen, disintegrated by heat. These forty days are a time to examine the dry areas of our lives, to struggle with areas where we need to be more faithful and obedient to God.
This self-examination is a chance to come out of Lent different than when we entered.
We journey through Lent with Jesus, following the narratives of the season. We have come from the waters of his Baptism and entered the wilderness, led by the Holy Spirit. As the forty days for Jesus ends, we find him beginning his ministry, once again, led by the Holy Spirit. But Jesus has changed. The wilderness has prepared him for what lies ahead. The devil has departed until an opportune time. We will see this character again in the story, we will see Jesus tested again and again through the Gospel narrative. But through it all we will continue to see that God is ever faithful and present. That is the promise that we have.
We have been baptized and we now walk with Jesus through the wilderness. We too have been led by the Holy Spirit. The forty days of Lent can change us, and we can leave this wilderness differently than when we came in. Through these days we will not be abandoned, forsaken, or thirsty. God will provide.

Sr. Sermon

My senior sermon went well on Friday. I preached a totally different sermon than what I presented in class. Wednesday in class we ran it through the ringer and it was well worth it. I walked out of class with the story of Eisleben, Germany and the text. 48 hours later I preached the most tightly focused sermon I have ever done. Now the bar of my expectations has been raised as well.

Bound by Circumstance, Free in Christ

Faintly, you could hear the rhythm of the pickaxe, mining copper and silver. As you moved closer to the village, you began to hear the voices of the crowd gathered in the market square. Then, over the din of the noise, from the tower, the church bells began to peal. This might have been the sounds of Eisleben when Martin Luther was born or even upon his death, but they are not the sounds today .

On a cold gray day in January, our seminary group toured the Luther death house museum and 2 churches in town where Luther was known to have preached. The churches felt like museums too. St. Andrews was housing the historical memorabilia from the Luther birth house, which made the church feel even more like a museum.

Besides a few people hurrying through the damp cold of the day, there was very little activity in the town. After spending the morning as tourists, we met with the local Lutheran co-pastors, Scott and Claudia at the house church they use during the winter. They use the house church to save on the cost of heating the cathedrals. We found out that this town, once in an area that was a hotbed of religious activity, was struggling in many ways. Where there had once been a thriving mining and smelting industry, there was now high unemployment. We learned that our tour guide had no other job than being the local guide. Where the church had once been vibrant, it now languishes. When Scott and Claudia arrived 3 years ago, there were 1000 people on the membership roles, but average worship attendance was 15.

If I were to see this church on a church information form I would look no further. I would look for another church. This church scares me. The church in Eisleben is oppressed by financial burdens; there are 3 cathedrals, but only enough money to maintain 2. It is subdued by societal norms; Scott told us of a Lutheran study found that it takes an average of 17 invitations to church before someone will attend in America, in Eastern Germany it is cultural taboo to do it once . It is shackled by an a-religious culture; a survey was taken at the train stations, one of the questions was “Are you a Christian or an atheist?” One of the responses was “I’m not Christian or atheist, I’m normal.” The church scares me because there are so many factors that bind it.

As Paul wrote to the Philippians he was bound too, in a literal sense. He was in prison. If we look at the book of Acts we find that Paul was arrested for preaching the gospel. His opponents thought imprisonment would hinder Paul and the gospel message. When it didn’t, there were people who preached to spite Paul, to upset him while he awaited the verdict of his trial. Paul could have been oppressed by his situation.

But for Paul, chains and preachers with false motives were not of concern. In fact life or death as he awaited the outcome of his trial was not an obstacle, for one reason. Christ. The situations did not determine Paul’s response, Christ and the power of the gospel did. While it didn’t change the situation, we know from the book of Acts, it changed Paul. As Fred Craddock puts it “Paul was in bonds, but the gospel was not.”

This imprisonment was not in a small cell with bars, nor was it chained to a stone pillar. Paul was shackled, 24-7, wrist to wrist with one of the elite Roman praetorium guards. These were the bodyguards of the emperor and high officials.
The guard on Paul rotated every 4 hours. This is how the whole palace guard knew about him and his imprisonment for the defense of the gospel . So Paul is shackled to a different guard every 4 hours, what do you think he was he going to do? He was in chains for preaching, so in chains, he continued to preach. What should have been a hindrance to proclaiming Christ, has “actually served to advance the gospel.”

Eisleben and its congregation with 15 in worship 3 years ago could have been a hindrance to Scott and Claudia proclaiming Christ, but has served to advance the gospel. Again, an obstacle seen in light of the gospel, became an opportunity. In 3 years the average attendance has changed from 15 to 60, but where the gospel is truly evidenced is not in the numbers, that is only a quantifiable measurement, but it is in the spirit of the members of the church. A church dedicated to continuing their witness in the life of the town. The people are working to advance the gospel. The people have been encouraged.

Paul has encouraged fellow believers as well. He tells the Philippians of those who have been encouraged to speak more boldly. And just as there are those who speak from good will and love, there are also those who preach out of rivalry and envy. But Paul is not concerned with them. No matter the motive of the preacher, if they are proclaiming Christ, nothing else matters. The gospel has its own authority and is not dependant on human motives. The message is more powerful than the messenger.

The message is more powerful than the messenger was a sentiment that Scott expressed to us as well. He told our group that he didn’t worry about numbers, money and the like because if “God wanted a church in Eisleben in 20 years, there would be a church in Eisleben in 20 years.” He and Claudia understand that they are witnesses to the gospel. They are the acting agents, but it is Christ working within them that makes the difference. They, like Paul, have discovered that they need nothing else, only Jesus Christ.

In their community the church, like the land, bears the scars of the mining industry, but there are signs of healing and hope. Scott and Claudia have been able to reach out to the youth in the town. They told us about the kids who aren’t members but who come with their friends. And even though the pastors know these kids are out of Eisleben as soon as they are able, they also know that they are opening them up to the good news of Jesus Christ. All that matters is that Christ is proclaimed. As they talked about their work in Eisleben, I got the sense that while they are deeply saddened by the state of the church in their town and in the area, they are not bound to the circumstances. They are free in Christ and they have a vision of what the power of the gospel can do. They encourage not only the people they pastor, but they encouraged me.

Before we left, we prayed together. Their only request of us was to continue to pray and to encourage others to as well. Christ is at work in this village in Germany, the gospel is being advanced. Christ was at work in Paul, in those who heard him, and in the church at Philippi, the gospel is being advanced. Christ is at work here and now at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, the gospel is being advanced.

As I sat in Stotts (our campus dining hall) yesterday at lunch, surrounded by the community. I looked around the room, and thought about how each of us is called to boldly proclaim the gospel message, even though we have no way of knowing where that call may lead us or the situation in which we will find ourselves. I have listened to many stories shared around those tables. People confronted with obstacles, yet they are able to press on, knowing that Christ would see them through and knowing that they had the support and encouragement of the community.

To hear those stories, to listen to Scott and Claudia who minister in spite of their circumstances, to read the letter to the Philippians as Paul continues to preach even in prison, is to be encouraged to speak more courageously; and it is to know that it is not just Paul or Scott and Claudia or us who are called to advance the gospel, but every believer from Eisleben, to Philippi, to Austin, and to where ever we are sent. May we all see with new eyes so that our obstacles become opportunities, that where we may be bound by circumstance we find freedom in Christ. May we be encouraged to go out into all the world and boldly proclaim Jesus Christ so we might serve to encourage others and to advance the gospel. Amen.

Long Time no post

Back from Germany and Switzerland and hit the ground at a sprint. It is the last semester of seminary. I have recently finished my PIF (like a resume) and it is being read and edited by some trusted folks. In the meantime there is an ethics paper due Tuesday, the first draft of my sermon due to my classmates Tuesday so we can discuss on Wednesday. Sr. Sermon on Friday ( and after Sarah preached today...the bar is set way high). Next Tuesday presentation for the older adults at WPC and preaching for the Lenten series on Wednesday March 7th. If I live until spring break it will be a miracle!

I will try to be better about posting, but no garuntees.

Snow in Switzerland

IT SNOWED TODAY!!!! Great fun to walk in the snow, in Switzerland and to have a snowball fight. Off to the French Alps tomorrow. The trip has been great but my brain hurts. Pictures upon return. Peace out!

Skipping across the pond...

The day has finally arrived to head to Europe. Two weeks in Germany and Switzerland following the footsteps of Luther and Calvin. I look forward to walking in the footsteps of history and thinking about the implications for the future. Pictures and updates upon my return. Peace.

Quote for the day

Time with friends is not spent, but invested.

Day after Christmas...

It's the day after Christmas and I'm out of bed
With way too many lists of things to do stuck in my head

I've been out shopping, fought the crowd at the mall
It didn't take long for me to hit the "I've had enough" wall

Presents are opened, underneath the tree is bare
but I've a new camera and new stuff to wear

Time with the family has been great fun indeed
but now with scholastic tasks I must proceed

PIFs and papers that I need to write
Books to read late into the night
(okay not really, but it rhymed)

Trying not to go shopping, I've no more money to spend
And there just aren't enough hours to see all my friends

This Christmas has been merry, but a little bit sad
This may be the last time at home, this Christmas I've had

What the New Year will bring, I really don't know
But here's to looking forward and seeing where I will go.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends and family.
May you be happy with what you have received this Christmas.
Peace

I have been cleared for take-off!!!!

Just finished meeting with my committee. I have been certified as ready to receive a call pending the successful completion of my CPE (hospital chaplain internship) and I can circulate my PIF whenever I have it ready. WOO HOO!!!!!

Now I just have to get my PIF written and let the fun begin.

To all my friends, please pray for me that I might procede with wisdom and discernment. Exciting and scary all at the same time.

Exploring my call...

Having had several conversations with several different people lately, the subject of where I sense I am called to, what kind of church has surfaced several times. One of the conversations, I turned it around and asked the question of the person across the table from me. That was very helpful! Solo pastorate vs associate in a multi staff chruch. My friend remarked that I was the jack of all trades and master of none...yet. She is right!

I still am not sure where I am called to. Part of it will just depend on each church, but one thing I am becoming more and more convinced of, is that I am not called to be safe. I have a tendency to do things a little differently and my sense is that is to be the norm for me. To always be a little out on the edge and slightly non-traditional. Part of it is about creativity, part of it is about pushing myself to see what I am capable of. We shall see.

One more semester to go, then who knows what will happen!

Peace.

Hallelujah!!!

One more semester is finished! Now a few weeks off until I leave for Germany and Switzerland. A couple days in Austin to tie stuff up then back to Oklahoma. Merry Christmas to all!

24 hours left for the semester

A 5 page paper for pastoral counseling and a World Religions final is all that remains for the semester. In 24 hours I will be done until January. The final stretch. Almost done.

22 Christmas Questions

This responsory list is making the rounds in the blogosphere. Thanks to Chris for yet another distraction for reading week!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate…especially with a little peppermint schnapps. Mmmmmmmmmm.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wraps of course, otherwise there is nothing to tear into on Christmas morning!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored on the tree. House White and some tasteful splashes of color. Just no houses decked in blue, especially the driveway. It looks like an airport.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No. But I am certainly not opposed to it either.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Used to put them up after Thanksgiving, now I don’t decorate, cause I live in a dorm room. And the bulk of the holidays are spent at the folks house anyway.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Ham and Scalloped potatoes.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Doing a Christmas production for the family with my cousins at Grandma’s house. Especially when we made the only boy be “Pinky” the elf one year.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What do you mean the truth about Santa?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Sometimes, but not usually.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lights, Garland and sentimental family ornaments.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? Having grown up in Oklahoma…snow? What’s that? Oh that white powdery stuff. Would love to see some.

12. Can you ice skate? Nope. Never been able to.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My 2 front teeth? Actually legos, recently.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Theologically I’ll agree with Chris, the Incarnation. Otherwise, fun times with family and friends, particularly my nephews Josh and Jayson.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Fudge

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Waking up to loud, brassy Christmas carols on Christmas morning or Orchestra Sunday at First Presbyterian Church in Norman.

17. What tops your tree? An angel.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Yes!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Too many to pick.

20. Candy canes: yuck or yum? Yum for a few weeks, then yuck.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I love Dr. Suess.

22. What do you leave for Santa? Christmas cookies, milk and a carrot for Rudolph.

Monica, Paps, Tim, Paul….who’s next?

It can be Christmas time now...

I finally heard THE JINGLE today! It can now be Christmas. It is an Oklahoma (well central Oklahoma) tradition.

Jewelry is the gift to give, cause its the gift that will live and live
So give the gift you know can't fail from BC Clark's anniversary sale
Most sales are after Christmas, but Clark's is just before
Most everything is marked way down, savings you can't ignore,
At Oklahoma's oldest jeweler, since 1892
So give the gift you know can't fail from BC Clark's anniversary sale.

BC Clark Jingle

:)
Peace!

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Found this online....I love hand turkeys! And I like the poem. Great kid craft.


This isn't just a turkey as you can plainly see.
I made it with my hand which is a part of me.
It comes with lots of love especially to say,
I hope you have a very, Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Tribute to my Grandfather

My grandfather died 2 years ago. In reading about bereavement for pastoral counseling I started thinking about that. It made me think of the jingle, poem, whatever it is that all us grandkids learned.

Honko Tonko, Hokey Pokey
Hingery Jingery sokey mokey
Honko tonko, Hoke Poke
all in the Tonago Islands

Hey ro, Jay ro
Long come a rat trap
Penny winkle, yellow bubble
ring gum bonnie micha kime bo


I have no idea what it means. I have no idea if it is spelled correctly as we learned it by rote.
Someone taught it to my grandfather and he taught it to us.

Makes me smile though!

The 4th Wall

From Wikipedia
"The fourth wall is the imaginary invisible wall at the front of the stage in a proscenium theatre, through which the audience sees the action in the world of the play. While the origin of the term cannot be confirmed, the concept is generally presumed to have begun in the nineteenth century theatre with the advent of theatrical realism."

I was introduced to this term by Dr. Jennifer Lord. It is what allows for the suspension of reality. So what does this look like in the church? When we preach, is there a 4th wall between us and the congregation? Although you can sense if someone is preaching authentically, I wonder if we look and listen through a 4th wall that allows the preacher to be something they are not, or allows them to have more authority? A new question to ponder.

Peace.

Where does your first step take you?

This was the question I was asked as a high school junior while at Olympic Development Program soccer camp. We were working on reading and handling flighted balls into the box. My first step was forward, toward the player who had just kicked the ball. Needless to say, I got burned deep several times. That was when the question came "Where does your first step take you?"

The coach went on to explain that I needed to stay put for a count and read the flight of the ball as well as account for spin, wind, and positioning of other players both offense and defense. I struggled with this. I still wanted to attack. The coach finally stood in the goal behind me and grabbed hold of the tail of my jersey. He held it for a count after the ball was kicked, yanking on it if I stepped forward. Once I quit fighting him, he let me try it on my own. I figured out that if I stepped back, I gave myself a better read on the ball and put myself in better postion to win the ball first.

The same question has resurfaced in the seminary environment. My inclination is to take my first step forward, toward whatever issue/problem is at hand. In meeting with a spiritual director, I need to work on taking a step back or at least staying put until I can assess the situation and then respond as I need to. Only when I take the time to read the situation, can I give myself the best chance of responding appropriately. I also give myself a chance to position help where I need them and rely on others and their gifts instead of only my own.

Peace,

I love when God intervenes in life

This is an excerpt from the book "His Princess: Love Letters from Your King" by Sheri Rose Shepard. this was sent to me by an incredible young woman who was one of many that I had the priviledge of coaching in my 7 years at NHS. I haven't talked to Jordan in several years, but this excerpt greatly impacted me. Go God!

“My Princess…I have set you apart

I have called you to be set apart, just as I called those who came before you. I know this calling will sometimes come with great cost, but the eternal rewards are priceless and beyond comparison. Just as I did with Queen Esther, I have given you the ability to walk in such a way so all will see that you are divinely Mine. Some will admire you for your dedication to Me, and some will want you to fail rather than follow your lead. You may fall because you are not perfect, but your mistakes can be the tutors that make you wiser. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect. I’m the only one who can perfect you, My princess. All I ask is that you let Me set you apart so that I can use you as a witness for the world to see.”

Love,
Your King who sets you apart

Thank you to my friends

To my friends who have known that something wasn't right in my world, I owe you huge thanks. For those who have checked in with me, taken time to talk, and who have simply allowed me to be unsettled and are a presence with me I can never thank you enough. That is one the most incredible pieces about APTS, you all are wonderful! Peace

The struggle of the semester...

Trapped….trapped in a little room with God
Psalm 139 echoes off the walls, or is it in my head?

“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.”
I can’t run away, there is nowhere to go, you are everywhere.
My head spins as you lay your hand upon me.

Too many thoughts fill my mind,
I can’t do what you ask of me
I don’t want to do what you have asked of me
I don’t want to lead

I can’t stand this little room any longer
I don’t have the strength to keep fighting
I am tired from wrestling day in and day out
But I can’t quit,
If I could only let go
But I can’t, nor will you let me go

I read Isaiah “comfort, comfort o my people”
But I find no comfort right now
A voice cries out….
This is quoted in Luke
A voice of the one crying out in the wilderness
Is this what I am to do
Am I to be a voice crying out in the wilderness?

One in a Yellow Shirt

This sermon was preached for an elective class "Women, Voice, and Preaching" at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. One of my friends who read it told me it was more effective when he read it aloud.
Mark 10:35-45

Who do they think they are anyway? Over talking to him and did you hear what they asked? They want to sit at his right and left hand, asking Jesus to give them the places of honor and power. Stinking Rabbi’s pets! Why do they think they are so special? They go up the mountain with Jesus and Peter and all of a sudden they think they are all that. Maybe they will get rebuked like Peter did the other day. What? No! How can Jesus listen to James and John? I don’t believe this!

Verse 41 tells us that the disciples began to be angry with James and John. But are the disciples angry? Or are they jealous and upset by the brothers as they attempt to gain favor? A chapter earlier all of the disciples had been arguing about who was the greatest and now James and John have all but declared their greatness by approaching Jesus. How often are we dragged into jealous anger? Think back to elementary school or middle school, there was always someone who was perceived as the “teacher’s pet.” Just as we perceive others are seeking favor with a teacher, the disciples make the same assumption. The indignation of the others becomes a turning point in the text from James and John to Jesus and his correction of all of the disciples.

James and John asked to sit on the right and left hand of Jesus, the right hand being the position of power and honor. They wanted to be recognized above the others. However, they didn’t know what they were really asking. Even when Jesus questions them, they don’t get it. Jesus asks if James and John “can drink the cup he drinks and can be baptized with the baptism he is baptized with.” They answer that they can, but they take these questions to mean they can share in the glory of the one Peter has called the Christ. They don’t understand that these are related to suffering and death . James and John are only concerned with sharing in rule and fame. This self-serving request is not hard for our culture to understand. We are a culture of “What’s in it for me?” It isn’t enough anymore to just keep up with the Jones’, now we have to run over them with our new Hummer that is the biggest and baddest thing on the road. It reminds me of the old bumper sticker “He who dies with the most toys wins.” The discourse between James and John and Jesus shows the misunderstanding of the disciples that is a continual theme throughout Mark’s gospel.

Jesus takes this misunderstanding of the brothers Zebedee and the anger of the disciples as an opportunity to further explain the nature of true discipleship. Jesus begins by pointing out the authorities and high officials of the day who lord their rule over the Gentiles, but it is not to be like that with the disciples. True discipleship is not about flaunting authority. Jesus goes on to tell them that if they want to be great, then they need to be a servant and if they want to be first they must be the slave of all. How does serving someone else or being a slave make one great?

Jesus says “The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve.” Putting another’s desires and needs ahead of your own, regarding another as more important, where is the power in that? By worldly standards there isn’t power to be gained in serving. This point was made abundantly clear to me as I watched the movie Jesus Camp. This documentary is about the evangelical movement and in particular a summer camp for kids. The camp is a way of indoctrination. The film chronicles the journey of three kids to this camp and their subsequent travels around the nation. One of the people they meet is Ted Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals and founder and senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He makes the comment in the movie that if the evangelicals vote, they control the polls. The movie shows a faith that is steeped in politics. Faith with a political agenda is the faith of the Pharisees and Scribes. It is the type of faith that causes Jesus to correct the disciples. So how does serving others give anyone power? In seeking to serve others, with no ulterior motives, we maintain our power. We make a choice; we use our power to lift another up, not to push ahead of them. The power that comes from serving cannot be controlled and makes those who seek worldly power uncomfortable.

We are like the disciples in Mark’s gospel, we don’t get Jesus either. The disciples have argued about who is the greatest and now James and John have asked for glory. How many Christians do you know who are Christians because it looks good to others, because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? You know, Christianity the easy way, showing up for church occasionally, trying to live a good life, being nice to people most of the time, but nothing that really pushes us. We don’t want to stand out after all. We like blending in with the crowd and being another nameless face, but is that what we are truly called to?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer speaks to this in his book The Cost of Discipleship. We like what Bonhoeffer calls “cheap grace.” It is grace that we take without ever changing. It covers our sins, but requires nothing from us. It allows us to give lip service following Christ. What Jesus calls the disciples and us to is costly grace . Grace that was purchased by his atoning death, grace that calls us to leave everything and follow, grace, that calls us to be with Jesus and requires sacrifice, grace that calls us to service of others. We, like the disciples are seeking worldly power and we don’t get the message of Jesus.

Jesus calls us to follow, and like the disciples, calls us to serve. Jesus says “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” So does this mean we are to give our lives to save others? This is not within our power to do. Christ has redeemed the world through his atoning death. He has paid the price. The priest has become the sacrifice and in doing so has won victory over death. This is only possible as the Incarnate Word, the Son of God. We are called to give our lives in service to others, to follow the one who calls us, the one the disciples followed, the one called Jesus.

We were assigned to read the Bible in dislocation, so I headed out one evening to Mozart’s, a local coffee shop, and a favorite haunt of mine for reading theology and staring at ducks, but not reading the Bible, at least not until that night. While waiting in line to order coffee, a man in a bright yellow and red Hawaiian shirt struck up a conversation with me. Nothing earth shattering, but he was the only one in a long line to talk to me. How often is this kind of action frowned upon in society? He picked up his order and disappeared. Then I saw him again, standing out against the crowd. He moved across the deck and up the stairs to help the next musician bring in equipment. Then he helped the musicians switch equipment, not because it was his job, he just did it.

By day, under the shining sun, students study, folks engaged lively conversations,
a boat engine roars as it zooms across the water.
By night, in the pale glow of lights, students study, people talk quietly,
a guitar sings out worship songs across the deck.

Coffee in hand, I take in the scene around me.
The smell of coffee and of fish
The sound of computer keys and of people talking ,
The sight of people hunched over computers or just relaxing.
The taste of chocolate and caramel to sweeten bitter coffee.
The feel of a wooden bench, the uneven wooden table top.

I read the Bible and look around again.
Students competing for grades, trying to be number one.
People absorbed in self
Except one
One in a yellow shirt
One who is unassuming, one who strikes up conversation with a stranger.

Pairs of people sitting together at a table
But conversing with the cell phone attached to their ear
People, trying to get ahead.
Except one
One in a yellow shirt
One who walks to greet the next musician, who offers to carry equipment

I read the text again. James and John want the positions of glory
The others have argued over it too and are upset with them.
They want to get ahead, like the rulers around them.
Except one,
One named Jesus
One who had come to serve, not to be served..

Jesus doesn’t reprimand James and John, but explains further
Glory and power are not his to grant.
The disciples are to be different from the world, they are to be like
The one,
One named Jesus
One who came to serve, and who gave his life to serve others.

James and John want to share in glory and power, and they make the others angry when they approach Jesus. Jesus takes the opportunity to explain the nature of discipleship to them again. The disciples are to be different from the world. Disciples are not to seek worldly power, but instead are to seek to serve the world. The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life for the ransom of many. We are the recipients of costly grace, grace that requires us to drop everything, to put others ahead of ourselves and to seek to serve like the One, the One named Jesus.

By night, in the pale glow of lights, I take in the scene around me, I read the Bible
People seeking worldly power, like James and John
Except one, One in a yellow shirt
He seeks to serve, he reminds me of the life we are called to.
To be like the One.
The one, who served, the one who gave his life for many.

What a Monday it was

Whew....Monday is done.
Today was the day we got ord results back. I passed all 4. Yippee! Several of my friends did as well. Some of my friends didn't do as well as they had hoped. Made for an intersting day on campus.

The other big hurdle of the day was preaching my sermon for "Women, Voice, and Preaching." It went very well and I got some good feedback from my classmates. I have watched my DVD - since we have to turn in a one page self analysis - and it was okay. I liked the sermon itself, but there are many questions about effective delivery that run through my mind.

It was a good Monday.
Peace.

Have you seen Jesus Camp???

Went to see the movie Jesus Camp tonight. Found it scary, disconcerting, eye-opening, and affirming.
Scary in what is going on in the world of the uber evangelicals. Endoctrination of the young which for me amounts to manipulation for the purpose of political power.
Disconcerting in that I hear the name of God raised, but I don't see it in action. It is not about taking care of the homeless, the hungry, or the naked, but the movie is about political issues.
Eye-opening in that these are salt of the earth kinds of people who are looking for leadership and safety. When one of the leaders of the evangelical movements, Ted Haggard is talking about if the evangelicals all vote they control the polls and it is a good life.
Affirming in what I am called to and where I stand on my own beliefs. Also kinda scary in what I feel I am called to and where I stand on my own beliefs.

I think all Christians should see this film and engage in discussion about it.

Peace

FALL BREAK!!!!!

Woo Hoo! It is fall break. I am off to Louisville for a meeting for a few days, then it is time for golf, sleep, and play - probably in that order too. And a worship conference at the end of the week. Then back to mill for 6 more weeks. But at least there is a break first!!!

Peace

Too many voices

What do you do when you have too many voices running in your head that aren't yours. I have read so many books lately that I think all of the authors voices are more prominent than my own. I hate this continuous rebuilding stuff that goes on at seminary. Just as I think I have my #*$% together, I take another class (es) that shatters that idea and I have to rebuild again.

I think this has added to the round of dreams lately about getting 1's on the ords. It is my subconscious mind acting out the terror that I feel thinking about the fact that I graduate in May and that in a year I could be ordained and serving a chruch.

YIKES!!

Outta Step

I remember when I was in the Pride of Oklahoma always being warned about not missing the step off. People would notice if you were out of step or out of line. Well, that is what I am feeling like. I feel like I am out of step. I am being pulled in a variety of directions and feel like I am doing nothing but running. I feel like several engines on the plane have quit and I have called in the mayday to get landing assistance. Hopefully, some time this weekend will help re-fire the engines.

Just for David....

David, since you asked, here are a few of the notorious quotes from our beloved professor. There are many more, but here are a few.

Nothing is as new as what is old
To gather as a community we commit theology
Never neglect the use of strange funny words
There is much to recommend evangelical poverty and the best way to achieve it is the buy books.

I'll have to post some periodically.

Saved from SIlence

This is the title of a book I have been reading for Women, Voice, and Preaching this semester. It is about women finding their voice in preaching, but it speaks on other levels as well. The last chapter (if you can call it that) is called Coda and I think I have more written in the margins and underlined in the last few pages that in several parts of the book.

It starts off talking about the need for power and that in the technological age we have lost our voice. This makes me wonder how we go about maintaining power, gaining power, etc. Basically we do it by not allowing other voices to be heard. We have become a sound byte community and we talk in movie and TV clips rather than saying things for ourselves. The book contends that the church itself has lost it's voice.

Is the church about helping people find their authentic voice? HMMMMM would that be like, oh, I don't know, equipping the saints? I think the church has not only lost its voice, but has lost its very identity and its story. We ahve allowed ourselves to forget our story as it existed throughout the centuries and as it exists today.

Is the Christian story and more specifically the Presbyterian story about following Christ and living into the good news that is the saving power of Christ or is it about being the morality police? Is our story about a quest for earthly power or to live into the counter-cultural kingdom of God? Is it about looking at people and who God has made them to be, or is it about putting our own standards up first? God judges the heart, while we judge the outside of a person.

This book has raised questions within me and has helped me look at the importance of voice. How do we make sure we are not among those who oppress other voices? How do we become the voice, maybe the lone voice, speaking for those who cannot? How do we help raise their voice to get over the din of the world?

Wish I knew the answers, but then the questions would change.

Peace

I Love Reverend Fun Pictures

Is this picture reminiscent of our churches in general? Have we forgotten to "preach to the choir" and let things get out of control?

Which Theologian are you?

Thanks to Ryan and David for taking this test. Well, I am a Calvinist, although not sure I am actually as strong a one as this indicates.

John Calvin 100% Anselm 67% J�rgen Moltmann 60% Martin Luther 53% Karl Barth 53% Friedrich Schleiermacher 40% Jonathan Edwards 33% Charles Finney 33% Augustine 27% Paul Tillich 13% Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Letter or Spirit?

Ted Wardlaw preached for the opening worship service of the school year last night. He quoted Barbara Brown Taylor who speaks of turning ink into blood. This is a phrase I have come across while reading Jana Childers book "Performing the Word." Taylor makes the point that we get so caught up in the ink that we forget the blood that was shed on its behalf. We would rather sit and read the ink than get out and interact with those around us. Turning ink into blood is about putting into practice what is written in ink, giving the words life.

On that note it makes me wonder, are we, Presbyterians (or whoever actually), people of the letter of the law or the spirit of the law? Do we worry more about what is in writing or what is behind the writing? It makes me wonder if we need to spend less time worrying about the printed page and more time trying to live out what is written.

Taylor spoke to the fact that Christians behave the worst when they are defending God. It is as if in our finiteness that we could defend the infinite. How is it that we have decided that we are so righteous that we can defend God?

All this goes back to what I thought earlier in the summer that the PC(USA) particularly has become very pharisaical. We are the keepers of the holy traditions and the holy words. We are adamant about being clean on the outside, but not so much when it comes from the inside. Jesus called the Pharisees on that one. It is not what goes in that defiles us, it is what comes out of us that does.

Okay enough random thoughts for now....Peace.

A question of passion

Listening to the sermon this morning, and thinking about several worship services I have attended in the last several months what I have discovered is that I feel like most if not all lack passion. It is like we are going through the motions decently and in order as good Presbyterians should. We have become a denomination of pacifists that would rather not do anything.

This is actually evidenced by the zillions of letters to the editor of the Layman about the dozen or so conservative splinter groups, who have yet to do anything. I actually applaud Kird of the Hills in Tulsa for up and leaving. They have a conviction about what they are about and did something.

I don't think apostacy is going to kill the Presbyterian church, I think it is apathy. Very rarely have I sensed fire from those leading worship and even less from the congregation. How can we be on fire for God if we don't even have any fire within us. What good does it do to pass on an unlit torch?

As I have been reading preaching books this summer I have discovered more questions than I have answers for and I plan to pursue those questions with professors. In reflecting on GA and Montreat I have discovered that there is more arguement over politics than theology. When did the church let go of theology in favor of political power plays? Why have we let ourselves be more about worldly things than God's plan?

It is time for a new era of reformation. To be the church reformed and always being reformed. This reformation needs to take place in the hearts of the believers. Preachers need to preach with passion and conviction as well as sound theology and biblical study. Preachers need to connect with their congregations and be open and vulnerable with them. What is the passion of the preacher, how does that ignite the believer in the pew.

There is an old camp song...It only takes a spark to get a fire glowing, and soon all those around can warm around its glowing. That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You want to sing, its fresh like spring, you want to pass it on. May we all have the divine spark within us ignited that we may be on fire for God.

Peace

I Survived Hell Week...I mean ordination exams

Well, as of 9:00 this morning ordination exams are over. All the tests are turned in and on their way to Louisville where they will be sent somewhere to be graded in early October. I will know at the end of October whether I passed or whether I get the fun and excitement of doing all or part of this again. So, I was going for 5's (highest grade), praying for 4's, will be thrilled with 3's and if I get 2's will have the fun of doing them over again. Yippee.

But for now it is sleep and time to play for a few days before classes start.

Peace

Hazing hath a new name

Yes, folks, hazing hath a new name...it is ORDINATION EXAMS!!!
This is a bizarre form of hazing that occurs just prior to your senior year. A day and a half spent in 3 hours blocks writing over 9 questions. Theology, Worship and Polity are the disciplines tested. Theology and Worship each have 1 question that you get to use the Book of Confessions as a resource, the other questions, you and your brain are on your own. Polity, they give you the book, but it takes time to look stuff up, so not as much time to write. Then...if that weren't enough to fry your brain, at noon on Saturday you are given and OT and NT Bible passage and questions. You pick Greek or Hebrew and have 5 days to write an exegesis paper (answer 6 of 9 or so questions provided), write a focus statement and a sermon outline. And you pay to let people do this to you...what kind of nuts is that?!

So as of Thursday at 9:01 am, I will have survived hell week, i mean ordination exams. And then all that is left is to pray for 3's.

Thanks for thoughts and prayers, there is now light at the end of the tunnel...I think.

Peace

AAACCKK!!!! ORDS ARE COMING!!!

Haven't posted in a while. Have started studying for ords. Several friends have said "You'll have no problems." Wish I felt that confident. I did like what my friend Martha reminded me though. The answers are in my head, I just have to let them out to play. Studying abounds and the stress levels begin to rise. For all of you unlucky enough to be around those of us taking ords, remember to take us with a grain of salt. We may be cranky and snippy, but know it is the stress of 4 freaking tests that you have to pass to move ahead with what you feel God is calling you to do. Prayers are appreciated!

Prayer of the Weeks to come:
Dear God, you have called me to this place, and have called me to this vocation. I can only do this through your grace. Help me continue to trust in you, that your will be done, even when I try and get in the way of that. Amen.

Peace.

Return Of The Revolution

These are the lyrics to an OC Supertones song. Listened to it today in my car. Since I just watched the movie Luther again, some of this is still fresh in my mind. More later on my thoughts of return of the revolution...

There ain’t no stopping us now
I’d like to say that from the outset
Not up in this business just to get what we can get
But bet that
We gonna bring it to you loud and clear
How loud I gotta say it ’fore you people start to hear
I can name our problems
But I know a solution
Bring back the revolution.

The revolution comes and we all stand as one
Rises from the darkness and shines like the sun
As the sun gets higher, our church catches fire
Down from our pride and up from the mire.
It’s a dream that I’ve had and I hope it comes true
I forgot to say the revolution starts with you.

See wisdom and knowledge is one thing that we lack
You’ve been a christian how long and you’re still on similac
So I call on Martin Luther and all the reformation back
Then the common people couldn’t read God’s revelation
You had to be a monk or a priest to read latin
That was all before the revolution happened.

But the fire cooled down ever since that generation
We put down the Bible and pick up the play station
And we can’t defend our faith ’cause we don’t even know it
We say we love his word but pick a funny way to show it.
The world walks by and we don’t have a thing to say
I call ’em as I see ’em. And that’s what I see today

Chorus:
The revolution returns
The reformation lives on
The great awakening is now
Sleepers open your eyes
A war is on, our rally cry is no compromise
No compromise, yeah, no compromise
A war is on, our battle cry is no compromise
So throw your fist up and pray the revolution rise
A war is on, our rally cry is no compromise

Our hearts have grown so cold
And we’ve such numb souls
But shirts and bumper stickers
Man we got ’em by the truckload
Is true religion what you have around your wrist
What does the scripture say of this

They honor me with words
But their hearts are far away
I call ’em like I see ’em
And that’s what I see today
So I call on John Edwards
Who preched us all awake
We try to be emotional but here is our mistake
As a church we lack repentance and we lack true affection
Not only in our minds but our hearts need correction
And man that’s true religion, resignation and contrition
To love each other so much that we’d die before division

(chorus)

So what about you
Will you join us
Will you admit that the waters around us have grown
You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
Do you stand with us or do we stand alone
It’s time that we stand up, enlist for the war
I’ve tasted battle and now I want more
I’ve known the truth and been cut to the core
But I’m back in the game to even the score
And I mean to go out with both my guns blazing
Amazed at a God who’s so truly amazing
To triumph in battle as the spirit enables
Can’t turn back the clock but we can turn the tables

Purity...Since when?

Had a thought today about peace, unity and purity. And what I got stuck on was purity. Since when has the church actually been pure? The early church struggled with the issue of circumcision. Did you have to be a Jew before you could be a Christian? How is it that the Gentiles were allowed to become a part of the church? The very act of bringing outsiders into the church blows the issue of purity apart does it not?

Purity makes me think of the countries that have destroyed groups of people in the name of racial purity (yes, I am reading a fiction book that has to do with the Nazis, so this is fresh in my mind). Is the church becoming so exclusionist, that we are willing to strive for "purity" at the expense of keeping those unlike us out? Or is the church to be a place where all are welcome at the expense of purity?

What do we mean by peace, unity and purity? Are we talking about tolerance, uniformity, and sameness? I think there are pockets of folk in the church that are. Tolerate other religions, they have the right to exist, but they are inferior; Uniformity of belief and thought, you have to think the same way I do; and purity should then follow. I honestly think this is where some people want the church to track.

The issue of biblical authority has been a hot topic all summer since there are those who feel that others have strayed. One of the things I have always valued about being Presbyterian is that there has always been room in the churches I have been a part of, to struggle with interpretation. I have never been told that this is what I have to believe, but have been given basic understanding and been allowed to wrestle and to dialogue with others. Am I always right? No. But the community with which I study is how I know that. I can bounce ideas off of them and if they are not received then I can dismiss them and learn from others. I like that!

I don't want to be in a church where everyone acts, talks and thinks the same. It is a bit redundant. I want to be with people who challenge me to open my mind and my heart and who will struggle along with me to see what God might be doing.

Think about it. What do we mean when we talk of purity? Is that really what we want?

Back in Austin

After spending the 4th at home with family, 4 days in North Carolina, and a week with the family...it is nice to be back in Austin. While I was home I went to the Oklahoma Historical Museum and the Sam Noble Natural History Museum with my nephews and spent time actally reading for fun.

I also preaching in 4 churches in 2 weeks. The largest congregation was 25 and the smallest was 7. Great fun doing pulpit supply though.

Now it is time to begin studying for ords. I am part way through Shirley Guthries "Christian Doctrine" and am reading the Book of Confessions again. Time to brush up all those skills that I have been learning.

Amazing Grace

At the beginning of one of the plenary sessions on Thursday, I saw a lady down the pew from me wearing a Montreat cross. I had seen them on the website and was going to get one to wear when I preach. I asked her if she had gotten that in the bookstore here. A conversation ensued with Mary and she asked if this was my first time at Montreat. We only spoke for a few minutes as the session began.

At the end of the session, she stepped toward me, extending her hand. She pressed the cross into my hand and said it was to remember my first Montreat experience by. I have worn the cross during the rest of the conference and will wear it when I preach. If nothing else to remind me of the amazing grace that abounds within the church. The church has become fragmented in the last couple of weeks, but there truly is still hope. We must be willing to reach out to others, even those we don't know, and extend a hand and the gift, the touch of peace.

Montreat views

This is the view looking over Lake Susan to Assembly Inn where I am staying. This is a gorgeous retreat site. The clouds hung low over the mountains this morning as we went to plenary session. It is peaceful, it rained last night, it is cool with a gentle breeze. Wish I could bottle it up and bring it home.

Sitting, listening to the frogs croak and the rain fall,
I notice how many sounds I miss most of the time.
There is too much other clutter in my heart, my soul, my mind.

A few days of simplistic life
Days of listening and thinking about God’s call
A chance to just be and to be in God’s presence

The majesty of the mountains,
The splendor of creation
The softly falling rain and the frogs lull me to sleep


Peace

Howdy from Montreat

Having never been to Montreat before, let me just say...WOW!!!!! Gorgeous views and wonderful camp site. I hope to post some pictures in the coming days and will post news(on the GA Blog) from the "Hope of the Church Conference" that I am attending. We started tonight with worship, led by Moderator Joan Gray.

Will post more when I decide to take a break from the gorgeous scenery. :)

Peace out!

Reading Shirley Guthrie and thinking about GA

As I begin preparation for ords, I picked up Shirley Guthrie's "Christian Doctrine." In light of my experiences at GA different things have jumped off the page.

In his discussion about studying the Bible he states "There is always the danger that we will find in the Bible only what we take with us to it - that we will use it to confirm what we already think and will hear only what we want to hear.... What is to keep us from simply using the Bible to give authority to our own religious, social, political and economic prejudices What is to prevent us from using the study of this ancient book as a pious excuse for refusing to face the radical claims of the living God on every area of our lives, hear and now?" - p 11

"The self-revelation of God is in fact so new and unexpected that it is often offensive to those who think they already know who God is and what God must say and do if God is really God." - 56

These 2 pieces made me think back to GA and wonder what lens are we viewing Scripture through? Are we bringing our biases and fears hoping to find only what we want or are we willing to let go and let God be God? Christianity has always had a scandalous edge to it, perhaps moving toward the ordination of GLBT persons in the next scandalous move. After all blacks and women have been allowed to preach.

The struggle of theology continues....

Theological Issues...

Walking away from GA one of the things that grabbed hold of me is the lack of theological depth in the church today. Many of the debates that should have been from a theological point, were not, there was more debate on a personal emotional level. Along with this is the lack of Scriptural awarness and a difference of how we interpret Scripture. There are many ways Presbyterians have historically interpreted Scripture, but the most prevalent to me at GA, was what do I bring to the text and how does the text say what I want it to say. So where have we gotten lost?

I was reading Michael Jinkins book "Letters to New Pastors" the other day and something he said struck me. The theology of the congregation is only as deep as the hymns it sings. So how has the prevalence of contemporary music (particularly the old 7-11 songs - 7 words sung 11 times) and the changing of the old hymns and in some cases getting rid of them affected congregational theology? Because we have tried to use more inclusive language have we begun to lose the ability to see God as utterly transcendent? Does the phrase "High King of Heaven" point us to a transcendent God?

How do we begin to reclaim our theological heritage? How do we help our congregation rediscover the importance of them each being a theologian and that theology truly does matter? I can't help but wonder if we as a denomination and as the larger catholic church, if we would be in a better place that we are now. How has a lack of theological understanding impacted what we are doing as church (or not doing)? How has our lack of understanding added to the arguements?

The Trinity paper raised a ton of debate that I wasn't sure where it came from. But then I got an email from my sister after an article ran in the local paper. She was totally against the names brought forth as other ways to speak about the triune God. What I feel that she and a bunch of people missed was the fact that every image for the triune God, was to be anchored in the historical formula of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No one was out to change the baptismal formula or say we could use the historic names. It was instead a time to encourage the church to look beyond one way to name the triune God and to look at Scriptural images that are used and bring those forth.

This has caused me to stop and look at what I feel called to do. I feel strongly about theological education in the church. I wonder if this my deep joy that intersects with a need in the church.

Nice to be home

GA in Birmingham was an incredible experience, although something akin to drinking from a fire hose. I have been posting the last several days on the GA blog, which, I will continue to post stuff there as I prepare to go to Montreat for "The Hope of the Church" but I will start posting here again as well.

I didn't realize how tired I was after GA until Saturday. This week is finishing up some financial aid stuff and then it is back to Oklahoma for a few weeks with Montreat in between. While I am in Oklahoma I will do a couple weeks of supply preaching. One of the lectionary texts is from 2 Samuel as Uzziah touches the ark and dies (although they leave that out). If I were in a gutsier mood I would attempt to tackle that text, but maybe not. I lean toward 2 Corinthians 12 and the thorn in Paul's side "my grace is sufficient for you" is the phrase that jumps off the page. We'll see where I am lead with this.

Peace.

HYMNS FOR EVERYBODY

HYMNS FOR EVERYBODY
Good evening, friends, and welcome to our hymn sing. We are pleased
to announce that we have a hymn for everyone. Our program this
evening will include:

The Dentist's Hymn - Crown Him with Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn - There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn - The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn - Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn - There Is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn - Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn - Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn - I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn - Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn - Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn - Sweet By and By
The Realtor's Hymn - I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapist's Hymn - He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn - The Great Physician

And for you motorists at..

45 mph - God Will Take Care of You
55 mph - Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph - Nearer My God To Thee
75 mph - Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph - This World Is Not My Home
95 mph - Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100 mph - Precious Memories!!!!

Go See Cars!

A group of us went last night to see Pixar's Cars. Cute movie. Great soundtrack! We went to a theater that was showing it in DLP (digital projection) WOW!!! Big difference. I love that animated movies now are written for the adults as well. I think this graphically is the best of the Pixar movies and while it has a good story line, I still am a fan of the Incredibles.

New Blog just for the GA Experience

I just created a new blog that is devoted to my experience at GA and a conference 2 weeks later. This is the summer adventure. I will post as often as I can while at GA and Montreat. The new address is linked below.

Future Moderator

We'll just have to wait and see if this title is fitting or not. This adventure could either affirm a thought from SYS I almost 2 years ago or make me breath a sigh of relief. Only one week left.

A Trip Home

It was nice to be home and to see family and friends. I spent the first few days playing with my nephews Josh and Jayson. Then they left with their Mom and Dad and my other sister and dad for France for a week. Besides playing with the boys, I also had time to see folks from my church and who I used to teach with.


Aah Norman, Oklahoma. Home of the OU Sooners. This is the North end of the stadium. There are times that I forget how much I miss the sites of my home town. Especially during football season.


While I was home I also had the opportunity to participate in worship at my home church. Having been in several different churches, I really like my home church.

Although is was nice to be home, it was also nice to come back to Austin and see my frends here. Now begins the preparation for General Assembly in Birmingham. Right now my glorified thought is to post daily from GA. We'll just have to see if that actually happens.

Jumpstart your blog.....thanks David

Jumpstart your blog
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
[5. Don't you dare dig for that cool/intellectual book you hide away under the bed for occasions such as these ... Yes, I'm lookin' at you! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.]

Was looking at fellow seminarian blogs and stumbled upon this from David...

"It evokes in us painful memories of historical instances in which the belonging of one to another was abusive, not comforting. The nineteenth and twentieth centuries were times when consciousness rose regarding the ownership of slaves by masters, the absorption of wives' identities into those of their husbands, and the economic possession of some countries by others. In reaction to these oppressive power relationships, it isno wonder that we tend to value autonomy over interdependence."

This is from the Book Conversations with the Confessions, and the essay is titled "What Does God Have to Do with Us?"
This book is a series of essays from different leaders within the the church, but guess who this one happens to be authored by? This is one of the books that I have set out to read as I study for ordination exams in August.

DONE!!

Yippee! I am officially done. The last paper has been emailed and now I am off to see the Da Vinci Code.
Peace out!

Thursday.....

It's Thursday, 5 projects in 1 to go. It's theology, I am a theology nerd, but yes even I get sick of it.
At 7:05 this evening I have been quoted as saying, "I don't want to do theology anymore."

But oh well, back at it.

Going into the home stretch

One week left, 3 classes done, 3 to go. Spent the better part of the day in San Antonion for commissioner training for GA. Didn't learn a whole lot and spent about as much time on the road as in the meeting. Oh well. GA will be fun this summer.

Hope to get Ellen's paper done by Tuesday (take it to Light German) as well as most of my project for Lewie. Then it will be 3 days of nothing but atonement. Almost there, the end is in site, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may still be a train......

My Word Cloud

Thanks to David and the Pink Princess for the link to the word cloud!

How Sinful are you???

I found this one humorous and not very accurate....in my opinion. :)

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60%

Gluttony: 20%

Pride: 20%

Envy: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

Classes are OVER!

Well, classes are wrapped up for the semester, now it is reading and finals weeks. 2 weeks to get everything else done which for me includes:
Theology of Mission and Evangelism
Spiritual Journaling reflection paper
Greek Exegesis project
Paper on Bernard of Clairvaux and John Calvin
Paper on Atonement theories and what it means to be "Easter People"

Lots of reading and writing to do in the upcoming 14 days. It is the last sprint to the end.